I wasn’t sure what I was getting into when Toledo Free Press Editor in Chief Michael S. Miller assigned me this special issue covering the American Red Cross summer benefit CD.
It began with the tongue-in-cheek question, “Are you a lover or a fighter?” I’ve never been a fighter, so I answered “lover.” “Great, you are in charge of the Red Cross CD issue,” he said (Staff Writer Amanda Tindall received the “fighter” assignment with last week’s Military Yearbook issue).
Sanya Ali
When it came time for a briefing, Miller made me aware of a few key details of the project. The CD had not yet been completed but preparations began in January. At least 20 stories would need to be written. Then, he told me about the cause — the American Red Cross of Northwest Ohio. For those of you who don’t know Miller, he’s very passionate about his causes. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t a bit nervous about the project.
Looking back, working on this issue was a collection of pleasant surprises.
My first revelation: I never knew the breadth of the Red Cross’ mission. I believed the Red Cross was just an annual blood drive.
I have learned during the past few weeks that the Red Cross is a far-reaching organization that has touched lives affected by many different disasters. Be it a personal health struggle or a natural disaster, the Red Cross has been there to provide support and assistance. I had the pleasure of talking to Tim Yenrick, CEO of the Northwest Ohio branch, and Amanda Aldrich, their communications specialist.
Yenrick was so pleased with the results of last year’s project, which raised more than $10,000, that he was more than ready to jump on board this year.
Aldrich filled in the gaps in my knowledge of our local Red Cross. I also spoke with Bo McComas, a volunteer with the Red Cross who informed me about the projects the Red Cross has been involved in during the past year alone. McComas serves in both the Disaster Relief and Service to the Armed Forces wings of the organization, so he sees a wide range of cases in which the Red Cross has made an impact.
I also heard a powerful story from a Red Cross beneficiary.
Tina Zeiter lost her home in a fire last year around the time she was planning to host her daughter’s wedding. Thankfully, the Red Cross stepped in. They fed, clothed and housed Zeiter and her family and helped them rebuild. They’ve now been in their new house for three months. That is the kind of story people need to hear.
The second happy surprise: The musicians we worked with for this project are total gems. When I heard the CD for the first time, the sheer talent of these men and women struck me. Nearly every song on the CD is an original; there’s only one cover. Put together, the tracks truly epitomize a real Toledo summer, whether they are explicitly about the Glass City or not.
The fact that Miller, the musicians and the project’s sponsors are willing to give up time and resources for these causes gives me so much hope for journalism. This type of selflessness proves that newspapers are not just corporate entities. They are groups of caring people who want to give more than just a story to help address important issues.
Toledo Free Press Staff Writer Sanya Ali is project editor for the 2014 American Red Cross benefit CD issue. She can be reached at [email protected].
JT Nero and Allison Russell of Birds of Chicago. Photo courtesy Larry Meyer.
JT Nero and Allison Russell of Birds of Chicago celebrated the birth of their first child in December. After touring with her parents for more than six months, baby Ida Maeve has seen 38 states and counting.
“That’s been quite a ride, as it is for any parent,” Nero said. “We’re first-time parents and we’re trying to figure it out.”
Nero said the 6-month-old is so accustomed to life in a van that rest stops become a struggle for her.
“Luckily, she does not yet know that there’s anything but a touring life,” Nero said. “I suppose one of her friends will explain that to her at some point.”
Amid endless tours, Birds of Chicago has found time to donate their track, “All the City Girls,” to this year’s “Red, White & You, Too!” CD, benefiting the American Red Cross of Northwest Ohio.
“With a project like the Red Cross, it’s a kind of win-win for everybody,” Nero said. “It’s nice for artists to donate their music and perhaps get their music out there to people who otherwise wouldn’t hear it.”
Larry Meyer, the group’s legal consultant and publicist in Toledo, informed them about the intended project. The duo no longer live here, so Meyer makes sure they are in the loop.
“The Red Cross is an amazing organization and it’s good to work with charities where you actually see the work that’s done,” Nero said.
Their song for this year’s CD is an ode to summer activities following a frigid winter season.
“The song is a summertime in the city kind of song,” Nero said. “It was a long and brutal winter for all us Midwesterners, so this is a song about how to have fun in the summertime.”
The next step for Birds of Chicago includes more tours and an upcoming album release.
“The rest of the summer we’ll be on the road playing festivals, then we hope to have a new album recorded and out before the new year,” Nero said. “So we’re about halfway through recording it now and, in a perfect world, we’d have it out by October.”
Nero said projects like the Red Cross CD help prove that musicians can reach outside of themselves to give to a cause.
“The pursuit of music can be a very self-involved and narcissistic venture by nature, so anytime you get to do something to give back it feels good,” Nero said. “We hope it raises a bit of awareness. A little bit of good is a good thing.”
130731-N-MV682-156 ATLANTIC OCEAN (July 31, 2013) Harry S. Truman is deployed as part of Harry S. Truman Carrier Strike Group and will be supporting maritime security operations and theater security cooperation efforts in the U.S. 6th and 5th Fleet areas of operation. (U.S. Navy photo by Mass Communication Specialist 3rd Class Jamie Cosby/Released)
Russ Ammons Army World War II
Richard Baer Marine Corps Korean War
Reyna Lee Baldomero Army
Charlie Barto Army Vietnam War
Dale Lamont Beckett Army
Maj. Edward M. Bahret Marine Corps (Second from left in photo after night mission over Baghdad in 2003). Had four combat tours during that war. Now stationed in Japan (Iwakuni Marine Air Station) as part of our Pacific Defense Force. God bless you Ed and keep you safe as you protect us.
Seaman Julian M. Ballard Navy
Rick Bennett Army National Guard
Charles N. Bentley Navy World War II
Henry Bester Jr. Army Vietnam War
Gerald Biggs Ohio National Guard Air Force
Chris Blakely Army Combat engineer served in Afghanistan. Currently stationed at Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri
Love and God Bless you as you continue your Army career, Mom
Mark P. Benner Army Vietnam War “Welcome Home, Mark”
Master Sgt. Timothy Bellville Marine Corps (1980s) Army National Guard (2001-present) You are our hero! Love from your entire family.
Ed Beczynski Air Force (1980-85) Turbo prop mechanic on C-130s stationed at Dyess AFB, Abilene, Texas, and Anderson AFB, Guam. Became in-flight mechanic and flew throughout the Pacific to Philippines, Korea, Japan, Hawaii, Wake, Midway and Kwajalein islands.
Bill Benner Army Vietnam War
Donald Beczynski Army (1946-53) France and Korea
Booker T. Archie Navy World War II
Dr. Simmie Blakney Army Korean War
Robert Pete Browning Navy
Richard Britten Marine Corps Korean War
Gerald Brzuchalski Army Vietnam War Two Purple Hearts
Donald Byczynski Air Force Korean War
Paul Briggs Navy Vietnam War
Peter F. Brown JR. Marine Corps Served in Vietnam (1969-70) Received the Cross of Gallantry citation. Currently disabled and suffered from many medical issues from the exposure to Agent Orange while stationed in the jungles of Vietnam for seven months.
Art Brown World War II
Cpl. Alex Bryson Marine Corps Deployed to the Mediterranean, Haiti and Afghanistan. Awards include Combat Action Ribbon, Marine Corps Good Conduct Medal, National Defense Medal, Afghanistan Campaign Medal, Global War on Terrorism Medal, Humanitarian Relief Medal.
I have never been a history buff, yet I find it fascinating how the military of our great country evolved into its current branches: the Air Force, Army, Marine Corps, Navy and Coast Guard.
The present structure is a result of the National Security Act of 1947. This is the same act that restructured the War Department into the Department of Defense. But it all began with the Continental Army, which was formed June 14, 1775, after the outbreak of the Revolutionary War and disbanded in 1783. The 1st and 2nd Regiments then became the Legion of the United States under Gen. Anthony Wayne, becoming the foundation of what is now the U.S. Army in 1796.
History is important because the men and women who serve today carry with them the sacrifices, commitment, strength and honor of all those who served before them. They leave their loved ones, the comforts of home, their friends, their jobs and their entire lives behind to stand side by side with their military brothers and sisters to protect the approximately 93 percent of us who have never served. It is a call of duty most of us will never experience. Yet we experience the great benefits bought by the 7 percent who have sacrificed beyond measure.
Though the demographics of the military, the enemies they fight and the warfare technology they use changed over the years, some facts remain the same. I don’t believe anyone truly wants war, but it has been a part of our world from the beginning of time.
War is a thing. Military members are people. No matter your stance on war, we all need to stand up and support our military members and their families. When someone serves, their loved ones also serve. These heroes behind the heroes are often forgotten.
When a soldier, airman, sailor or Marine gets deployed, there is almost always a family left behind that needs the support of their community. Seek out these families and find a way to support them, which doesn’t always mean spending money. A mother might need help with cutting the grass. A parent at your child’s school might appreciate a little extra help. A mother whose child has gone off to war might be grateful to share a cup of coffee and the chance to talk about her concerns for her “baby,” no matter the age of the military member.
When a service member doesn’t make it home from war alive, there is a family who will never be the same. Again, listening without judgment, even when you feel you have no words to ease the pain, will be appreciated.
Today we have the highest survival rates for those who have been deployed to warzones. Modern medicine keeps alive many who might have perished in the past, but with physical and mental injuries not seen before in our returning military. The needs of our visibly and invisibly wounded veterans are growing and the responsibility is on each of us to do our part to ease their recoveries and reintegrations.
We can do more to help than we ever thought we could do. I know this because as a civilian and survivor of a severe traumatic brain injury, I thought once that I was not capable or knowledgeable enough to offer much assistance. Wow, was I proven wrong! You, too, can make a difference. Don’t overthink it. The military does have a culture that the rest of us will never understand fully. But don’t allow that to interfere with your ability as a human to have an impact on another human being.
It doesn’t take a medical degree to be able to help. It only takes an open heart, ears that listen without judgment and a spirit of kindness to ensure our military and former military know they are cared about. Throwing a parade and waving a flag is great, but time spent getting to know them and their families and going to community events to support them and learn more about the path they have walked is even better.
Love and understanding can go a long way toward healing and can open doors to new opportunities — for them as well as for you; giving is receiving! Love and understanding can help us become a nation that shows its greatness not only in the power of its military, but in the power of its citizens to unite with the military, our veterans and their families to create communities that give and give back. That is some amazing history in the making that you can be a part of.
Pam Hays is president and founder of The Arms Forces, www.thearmsforces.org; (419) 891-2111.
Since the founding of the United States of America, millions of men and women have answered the call to arms to defend democracy both at home and abroad. Many have made the ultimate sacrifice for our country, as they have fought for freedom, liberty and peace. We also recognize the sacrifices made by the families of those who have served in our nation’s military. They have experienced loss, pain and sadness in the absence of their loved ones. Our nation owes a debt of gratitude to all those who have served, and continue to serve, in our armed forces so that we can live free. As a reminder of the price we pay for our freedoms, we have an obligation to honor the valor of each and every veteran. We thank all veterans for their service to our country. Your sacrifice, selflessness and commitment to our country will never be forgotten. Thank you for all that you have done, and all that you continue to do for our state, nation and world.
JOHN KASICH, Governor
Working toward justice
There are nearly 900,000 Ohio veterans who selflessly served to protect our freedoms and procure peace. That is why I’m honored to serve on the Senate Committee on Veterans’ Affairs, where I’m the first Ohioan to serve a full term. This committee is about helping to ensure veterans receive the benefits and services they’ve earned.
This past month, my colleagues and I passed bipartisan legislation that would allow veterans who face long delays to obtain care outside of the VA; and authorize funds to help the VA immediately hire new doctors and nurses.
Further, several key pieces of legislation I originally sponsored recently passed the Veterans’ Affairs Committee. The total package would help expedite VA claims to reduce the backlog and double the enrollment window for healthcare benefits for active duty, reserve, and guard service members following deployment. As Co-Chair of the Senate Air Force Caucus, I’m also committed to preserving important work at Ohio’s military installations, including the 180th Fighter Wing in Toledo.
The Fourth of July is about celebrating our independence and the liberties American service members defend. We should remember to thank our service members, veterans, and their families for their sacrifice.
SHERROD BROWN, U.S. Senator
A little inspiration
When 9-year-old Myles Eckert thanked Lt. Col. Frank Dailey for his service in a Maumee, Ohio Cracker Barrel earlier this year, he taught us all a lesson about what we owe to those who defend our freedoms. It’s a lesson that Myles, despite his age, knows all too well. His father, Army Sgt. Andy Eckert, was killed in Iraq only five weeks after his son was born. So when Myles saw an opportunity to thank a soldier, he took it.
The men and women who have fought for us are not strangers. They are our friends and our children, our brothers and our sisters, our fathers and our mothers. Now they are joining the ranks of our veterans, almost a million in Ohio alone. They deserve our support and our gratitude.
Myles gave a twenty dollar bill to a soldier who reminded him of his dad, but he couldn’t have imagined what would follow. Inspired by his story, Americans donated hundreds of thousands of dollars to a charity that helps gold star kids like Myles.
So thank a veteran. You never know when the smallest of actions can have the biggest consequences.
Honor Flight of Northwest Ohio will make its final journey to our nation’s capital this summer. The organization has flown nearly 2,000 World War II veterans to visit their memorial, a tangible evidence that their service to our nation will not be forgotten. I recently had the privilege of joining hundreds of flag-waving family, friends and volunteers gathered at Toledo Express Airport to greet a returning flight. As a band played patriotic music, veterans entered, some walking, some in wheelchairs. Everything about the event felt right, and it left a profound impression on me. Those among us who step out from civilian life to serve our nation deserve support and honor. We must provide the men and women of our armed forces and their families with services to meet their needs both while on duty and when they return to civilian life. And, as Honor Flight so aptly illustrates, we must always remember, with gratitude, the debt we owe to those who answer our nation’s call to service.
SANDY SPANG, Toledo City Councilwoman
Always thankful
We should always remain thankful for the women and men who entered the armed forces in defense of our country and liberty. We owe a special debt of gratitude to those who made an ultimate sacrifice on behalf of the United States.
JACK FORD, Toledo City Councilman
A heartfelt thank you
The Board of Lucas County Commissioners and its employees extend a heartfelt thank you to the men and women who have served or are currently serving in the military on behalf of the United States of America. We also recognize the sacrifice that military families make on a daily basis to support their loved ones. The collective sacrifice and dedication of our local service men and women are in our thoughts. On behalf of the citizens of Lucas County, we extend our deepest appreciation for all that you do for our community and country.
CAROL CONTRADA, TINA SKELDON WOZNIAK and PETE GERKEN, Lucas County Board of Commissioners
Editor’s Note: Toledo Free Press invited local elected officials to share thoughts on the U.S. military. Compiled by Toledo Free Press Staff Writer Sanya Ali
In a letter to his wife Abigail, John Adams wrote: “The Second Day of July 1776, will be the most memorable Epocha, in the History of America. I am apt to believe that it will be celebrated, by succeeding Generations, as the great anniversary Festival. It ought to be commemorated, as the Day of Deliverance by solemn Acts of Devotion to God Almighty. It ought to be solemnized with Pomp and Parade, with Shews, Games, Sports, Guns, Bells, Bonfires and Illuminations from one End of this Continent to the other from this Time forward forever more. You will think me transported with Enthusiasm but I am not. I am well aware of the Toil and Blood and Treasure, that it will cost Us to maintain this Declaration, and support and defend these States. Yet through all the Gloom I can see the Rays of ravishing Light and Glory. I can see that the End is more than worth all the Means. And that Posterity will triumph in that Days Transaction, even altho We should rue it, which I trust in God We shall not.”
Rep. Bob Latta
While Adams may have been off by two days, the Fourth of July is a day for all Americans to remember. Our Founding Fathers laid the framework for what has become the greatest nation on Earth, and it is because of the selfless sacrifices of our troops that these values have held strong. Benjamin Franklin, in response to a Philadelphia woman’s question as to what form of government the Constitutional Convention had given them, aptly replied, “A Republic, if you can keep it.”
Continuous threats have challenged our Republic, but our military has never wavered and has remained steadfast in its resolve. As we face new and evolving challenges, it is imperative we continue to support our troops both in the field and upon their return home.
We need to look no further than Toledo’s own 180th Fighter Wing of the Ohio Air National Guard to see the patriots who make up our military. These brave men and women are our first line of defense in protecting the security of our nation in the air, and we are honored and proud to call them members of our community. Our service members live by a creed that stresses commitment and dedication not only to one another, but also to our country. On a daily basis, they volunteer themselves, making selfless sacrifices in the name of freedom — a further testament to their character and heroism.
Despite difficult budgetary times, it remains critical that we provide our military men and women with the necessary resources to complete current missions and defend against future threats. We must also ensure that both they and their families have the resources to navigate the physical and mental stresses that can result from combat. The U.S. Congress has passed annual legislation to provide for a strong national defense and support our troops and their families. However, as increasingly evidenced by reports regarding the Department of Veterans Affairs’ (VA) mishandling of our veterans’ care, our country has not fulfilled all of its promises to our troops and veterans.
The care of our veterans is neither partisan nor political. Members from both sides of the aisle, including myself, have been outraged by the terrible failings at the VA, and we will not stand for the continued runaround we have received from the administration. Secret lists, unacceptable wait times and lengthy appeals processes have come to define our veterans’ health care system, and it is time for us to defend our nation’s heroes. Therefore, both the U.S. House of Representatives and the U.S. Senate have passed multiple pieces of legislation to eliminate the current culture of mistruths and complacency, as well as prevent these injustices from occurring in the future.
One of the most disconcerting aspects of the VA crisis is that these issues could have been prevented. We have made a promise to our nation’s heroes and have a duty to uphold our commitment. As more veterans return from overseas missions and veterans from previous wars require greater care, we must ensure they are treated with the same dignity and honor with which they served our country.
Our service members put their lives on the line daily, so that we may continue to call this country the land of the free and the home of the brave. As we celebrate our freedoms and honor those who are currently serving, those who have served and those who have made the ultimate sacrifice, let us also uphold our promise to our veterans by ensuring they have the care they need. We owe an enormous debt of gratitude to all who are wearing or have worn our nation’s uniform — one words alone cannot express. It is because of their sacrifice, and the sacrifices of their families, that we can be so proud to call this country our home. God bless our nation’s heroes and their families, and God bless the United States of America!
Rep. Bob Latta (R) is the U.S. Representative for Ohio’s 5th Congressional District. For more information, visit latta.house.gov.
‘Do you wanna play tag?” asked a familar 9-year-old boy.
.
The surrealness of the question caught me off-guard as I looked around. The visual of headstone after headstone, including the one belonging to this boy’s father, Sgt. Gary “Andy” Eckert, was unnerving.
“Myles, after you get your picture taken and your mom says it’s all right, then we can play,” I replied, watching the boy as he looked annoyed while having numerous photos snapped as he posed next to his father’s tombstone. “I am going to do Jeremy’s face now,” Myles told the photographer, imitating my awful crooked grin from the Toledo Free Press headshot that accompanies every column of mine. As I chuckled under my breath, trying not to encourage him, the photographer tried to refocus the restless boy.
The stark contrast between his humor and the monument he was sitting on was not lost on me. The Eckerts — Myles, his mom Tiffany and sister Marlee — along with Lt. Col. Frank Dailey, were having their pictures taken at Andy Eckert’s gravesite for this Toledo Free Press Military Yearbook, compiled by project editor Amanda Tindall. It was the first time I had visited the place where a single photo of Myles showing his heart by hugging a headstone set off a worldwide frenzy of paying it forward.
The Military Yearbook concept was inspired by the weekly magazines that showcase mugshots of local criminals. Two years ago, I reviewed a couple of these rags and was sickened by their commercial success. People are actually making a living exposing others at their worst moments. This issue was created because I was tired of seeing bad people as I pay for my gas and scratch-offs; it’s a perfect foil.
I am one of the fortunate; I have yet to lose a family member or friend to a war. When I made the call to TFP Editor in Chief Michael S. Miller pitching this idea two years ago, I knew it was something that could be beautiful. Seeing picture after picture of those who currently serve or have served in the two previous Military Yearbooks and reading the words that accompanied them confirmed the beauty of my dream.
Last year I was privileged to share a picture of my grandfather, Pete Zunk, during his time in Germany. His two years of military service gave Pete enough stories to fill every holiday and birthday over the past 60 years. I am alive and writing this because he came home.
It wasn’t until recently that I came to fully comprehend the weight and meaning behind the word “sacrifice.” I think as a society we use the word way too loosely.
After the cemetery photo shoot, the Eckerts, TFP Managing Editor Sarah Ottney and I ventured to the very place where Myles changed the world with a Post-It note. It was during this lunch that I learned what the word really means.
I watched a 10-year-old girl spontaneously erupt into tears after hearing her mom recount the story of saying a final goodbye to her dad at the Toledo Express Airport. Marlee’s tears and the sadness behind them showed the pain she carries every day for a man she knew for only the first two years of her life. It was at this moment that I understood what price was paid and who was paying it.
Marlee and Myles Eckert are living their lives burdened by the price of our freedom. These beautiful children, with their oversized hearts, have no idea about war, foreign politics or diplomacy. They know the game of tag, how to give a great hug and are experts with a Cracker Barrel menu.
One day I hope they’ll learn how they’ve inspired a nation to do something nice and unexpected for someone else. What better teachers than Gold Star children? One day I hope they understand they taught me what the word “sacrifice” means.
It has been an honor to share their story and I can’t wait to write the next chapter.
This 2014 Military Yearbook is dedicated to all the children of those who never came home.
Jeremy Baumhower can be reached at [email protected] or on Twitter @jeremytheproduc.
Tiffany Eckert with her children Myles, 9, and Marlee, 10, is starting a pay-it-forward foundation called Lucky Day. Toledo Free Press photo and cover photo by Michael Nemeth
Birds chirp in a tree shading the Whitehouse Cemetery plot where 24-year-old Army Sgt. Gary “Andy” Eckert is buried. The tree was a sapling when he was killed in Iraq in 2005. Now it’s a sturdy young tree.
Tiffany Eckert with her children Myles, 9, and Marlee, 10, is starting a pay-it-forward foundation called Lucky Day. Toledo Free Press photo and cover photo by Michael Nemeth
Andy’s son, Myles, has also grown. He’s 9 years old and the spitting image of his dad.
“Everything is identical, down to the way he stands, the way he looks, they way he laughs, the way he smiles, the way his teeth are set,” mom Tiffany Eckert said. “They were made from the same cookie cutter.”
Myles was just 5 weeks old when Andy was killed by a roadside bomb near Samarra, Iraq, on Mother’s Day, during his second deployment. His daughter Marlee, born while he was on his first deployment, was 21 months old.
One side of Andy’s large black headstone is covered in tiny stickers. Once a year, Tiffany, 32, cleans them off for Marlee, now 10, Myles and Tiffany’s daughter, Berkley, 3, to fill again.
When designing his marker, Tiffany included a bench on either side of the headstone so she and the kids could sit and visit. His side is inscribed, “Freedom”; her side is inscribed “Strength.” An inscription on the back reads: “Marlee & Myles, I’m working in heaven. Be strong, be fierce, be kind.You’ll never be alone. I love you, Daddy.”
“I thought they might come here someday and it would speak to them,” Tiffany said of the note. “They ask to come all the time and I never say no.”
“I didn’t think that our ‘normal’ would include my kids asking to make trips to the cemetery to show their dad their sports uniforms or talk to a headstone about a really big day that had just transpired,” Tiffany wrote in a column for Toledo Free Press earlier this year. “The reality of our situation is that when we want to share the moments in life that others take for granted, we have to do so in front of a large slab of granite.”
Pay it forward
Army Sgt. Gary “Andy” Eckert
Not quite five months ago, an unassuming exchange at a local restaurant unexpectedly turned into one of those “big days” after Myles found $20 in the parking lot of a Maumee Cracker Barrel and gave it to a soldier eating lunch.
“Both of us had decided we were going to give it to our waitress, but then Frank came in and Myles’ eyeballs lit up,” Marlee said.
“Dear Soldier,” the note read. “My dad was a soldier. He’s in heaven now. I found this 20 dollars in the parking lot when we got here. We like to pay it forward in my family. It’s your lucky day! Thank you for your service. Myles Eckert, a gold star kid.”
“He reminded me of my dad so it came from the heart,” Myles said.
The recipient was Lt. Col. Frank Dailey, a 27-year military veteran serving with the 180th Fighter Wing of the Ohio Air National Guard. Dailey, a Bowsher High School graduate who lives in Perrysburg, was out to eat on Feb. 7 with his wife and their baby grandson.
“I was really proud because I didn’t have to prod him at all,” Tiffany said. “They did it on their own. To watch that unfold as a mom who’s been teaching them all these years is really awesome.”
“It was just heart-melting immediately,” Dailey said. “Reading the note, he expresses that his father was a soldier and he’s in heaven now. But you can’t really discern what that’s about until the very bottom when you find his name and he states he’s a Gold Star kid. That immediately clued me in on how his father had died.”
Afterward, Myles asked to stop at the cemetery. He wanted to talk to his dad alone. He won’t say what he said, but, from the car, Tiffany snapped a photo of him hugging the headstone.
“I don’t remember [what I said],” Myles said. “Actually I do remember, but it’s secret.”
Within days, Dailey continued the pay-it-forward chain, donating the $20 to CedarCreek Church for its local outreach efforts.
For months, Dailey kept the note on his dresser, where he looked at it daily. Now it’s packed away for safekeeping as the family prepares to move out of state for Frank’s next transfer.
“We’ve kept a close hold on it,” he said. “To me it’s one of those valuable items that we want to keep forever.”
National news
The story gained national attention after the Daileys’ daughter posted a photo of the note on Facebook. Mutual friends tagged Tiffany and soon local media caught wind, followed shortly by national media.
“The true spirit of paying it forward is it’s not supposed to end up like this, but this has been neat because it’s been a learning experience for others. We’ve been able to share this story and challenge other people to pay it forward,” Tiffany said. “We still leave notes when we’re at restaurants, but it’s harder to be inconspicuous now.”
Tiffany was soon overwhelmed with offers to send Myles cash, video games and more. Instead, the family decided to redirect the donations to military children’s charity Snowball Express, which offers fun experiences to provide “hope and new happy memories to the children of military fallen heroes who have died while on active duty since 9/11,” according to its website.
“We’ve really been given this huge platform and the only way I could justify anything we’ve done is by continuing to do something to pay it forward,” Tiffany said. “Last year Snowball Express was suffering. They were low on funds. So I thought, ‘What better way to promote that organization than to have people pay it forward to them?’ It’s been really neat because it’s brought such awareness to what it means to be a Gold Star.”
Although she’s tried to limit the gifts they’ve accepted, Myles has gotten an Xbox, iPad and bicycle from various charities and donors. She is undecided what to do about offers to help fund the children’s educations.
“I just didn’t want it to get out of control and have them start thinking they were entitled,” Tiffany said. “While they are under my watch, I’d rather continue to teach them what I’ve always taught them and that’s to give, not to receive.”
Dallas-based Highland Capital Management soon stepped up with a $1 million matching funds challenge, offering the opportunity to turn Myles’ original $20 into $2 million.
“We don’t have a final tally back yet, but we’re really close to the $2 million,” Tiffany said.
Executive Director Buck Kern said Snowball Express serves more than 1,200 children each year, but there are more than 8,000 children who have lost a parent since 9/11. Myles and Marlee have both participated in Snowball Express events.
“Nobody at school really knows what it’s like, so I’m glad when we go to Snowball that nobody has to ask what happened,” Marlee said.
“My favorite part is meeting the other kids because they are just like me,” Myles said. “The worst part is the last day because you have to say goodbye to all your friends.”
The family has appeared on CBS and “The Ellen DeGeneres Show.” They’ve met former President George W. Bush, Michelle Obama, Kid Rock and other celebrities. Over Memorial Day weekend, Myles was an honorary caddy at The Patriot Cup in Tulsa, Oklahoma, a golf tournament that provides scholarships and other assistance to families of killed or disabled service members. On June 18, the family traveled to Georgia to receive a Daily Point of Light Award, for promoting the spirit of volunteerism.
But Tiffany’s favorite experience has been right here in Toledo, when Friendly’s offered to host an ice cream party in April at Toledo Public Schools’ Glendale-Feilbach Elementary in honor of Myles.
“That was special,” Tiffany said. “It was so fulfilling, so rewarding just to see these kids challenged by Myles.”
Tiffany’s two mantras are “You get better, not bitter” and “Kindness always wins.”
“I was bullied a lot when I was a kid and that’s what I had to tell myself on a regular basis to get myself through,” Tiffany said. “Then when Andy died it really became a coping mechanism. Then the kids and I ended up doing it together as soon as they got old enough to comprehend. Doing kind things for others, for me, is very fulfilling. There’s nothing else besides my kids that fulfills me more.”
Looking back
Tiffany and Andy met at a party in 2002 and soon became inseparable.
“There was just something about him,” Tiffany said. “He just had this calming effect. And those eyes. He had the most beautiful blue eyes ever.”
They were married at the Lucas County Courthouse on Feb. 28, 2003, a week before he deployed to Iraq.
“Andy pretty much asked me every day to marry him from the minute we met,” Tiffany said. “He was really adamant that he didn’t want people to ever think we just got married because I was pregnant with Marlee or because he was getting deployed. Him being deployed obviously expedited things, but he wanted to marry me from the second we met.”
Tiffany believes their “fast and furious” romance was meant to be.
“If it had happened any other way we wouldn’t have had the kids, we probably wouldn’t have gotten married,” she said. “We had such a short period of time from when we met to when he died. … It was a whirlwind, but I feel like it was meant to happen that way. It was definitely a God thing.”
Marlee was born in July, while Andy was still in Iraq. They had chosen the name Marlee Grace, but shortly before she was born, Tiffany changed her middle name to Freedom.
“I felt really compelled to do so,” Tiffany said. “I wanted her to know her dad wasn’t in the pictures because he was fighting for our freedom.”
Andy wrote Marlee hundreds of letters, even before she was born, Tiffany said. One she carries in her purse reads: “Hello Sunshine, Daddy loves you, and will be home soon. [Heart], Daddy.”
Andy was killed by a roadside bomb on May 8, 2005, about 500 feet from where he’d been injured a year earlier. That incident, in March 2004, sent him home with shrapnel wounds, a traumatic brain injury and a Purple Heart. But when his unit was called up in November, he volunteered to go back.
“Because of his injuries, he had to sign a waiver to be able to go. He said, ‘I can’t let them go without me,’” Tiffany said. “It wasn’t what I wanted, but who was I to tell him no? My job as his wife was to support him fully. He felt that he was supposed to go back and I couldn’t tell him he was wrong.”
Andy returned on a two-week leave for Myles’ birth in March 2005.
“[When he left again] it was really emotional because he told me he wasn’t going to come back,” Tiffany said.
At his funeral, she said she didn’t know how she would go on.
“You’re sitting there looking at an unknown, like looking at a blank space, and it’s terrifying. Especially when you know you are the one person in the world those two little kids had to count on,” she said.
“I always miss him. I always wish he could be with us. Then I just remind myself that he can see everything from heaven and I find some peace in that. I think I’m at the point now where I miss his presence for the kids more than anything. I had some time with him, but they never had that opportunity. He would have been the best dad ever. I know that for a fact, and that makes the sting that much sharper.”
Moving forward
Lt. Col. Frank Dailey, with Myles Eckert, said he’s happy the attention has brought more awareness to gold star families. Toledo Free Press photo by Michael Nemeth
Myles is a “typical 9-year-old,” Dailey said. He likes basketball, baseball and video games. Marlee likes soccer, writing and horseback riding. Tiffany works full time in accounting at a local marketing firm.
Myles said he might want to join the military, but Marlee said she’d like to be a writer instead.
“My dad was [a serviceman] and my dad’s dad was, and my dad’s stepdad was, so then I want to be because it’s a tradition,” Myles said.
Tiffany said her girls have taken all the attention on Myles in stride.
“I think the fact that, at home, they know they’re loved and all equal balances out what’s going on,” Tiffany said. “Marlee has shown a lot of grace. She’s an old soul, wise beyond her years. Berkley is just the sassiest thing ever. She doesn’t really comprehend, but she talks about that she got to go to the White House or she got to go to ‘Ellen.’ She doesn’t like it when we travel and she doesn’t get to go with us.”
Berkley’s dad lives in the area, although he and Tiffany are no longer together.
“I’m teaching her the exact same things I taught her brother and sister,” Tiffany said. “She just fortunately has a dad, a living dad.”
Tiffany is starting a foundation called Lucky Day, to encourage paying it forward to military families.
“I would like to focus a lot on PTSD and preventing suicides because Andy was a wounded veteran and we had to deal with the ramifications of some of his injuries and his invisible wounds,” Tiffany said. “I had prepped myself to spend the rest of my life taking care of him and I wasn’t afforded that opportunity. But I still have a heart and I still have a passion for those soldiers that have experienced so much and I’m still capable of helping.”
A second organization, a partnership with another Gold Star widow to assist Gold Star families, is in the works.
“This whole time I’ve acknowledged and respected that this 15 minutes isn’t going to last forever, so I tried to make right choices, stay normal, do the right thing, keep God at the center of everything we’re doing,” Tiffany said. “Now moving forward, we still have momentum and that’s why we’re starting these organizations to continue to help pay it forward.”
The attention Myles’ random act of kindness has brought to the family has meant reliving the pain of their loss.
“It’s an honor to be able to share Andy’s story and to preserve the legacy, but there are times where it’s emotional and it’s tough and you just sort of have to say, ‘I need a minute,’” Tiffany said.
“But whatever amount of emotional rigor I go through is worth it because not only am I speaking of Andy and celebrating the choices my children are making, I really feel like we’re celebrating all of the sacrifices and reminding people it wasn’t just Andy. It’s not just Marlee, Myles and Tiffany. There’s so many other families like ours. I always try to look at the bigger picture. It’s not ever once been just about us. It’s about us and the others.”
The intensity of the attention has toned down but hasn’t ended.
“I suppose at some point there will be an ending point to the attention, but I certainly hope there isn’t an ending point to the pay-it-forward mentality,” Dailey said. “I could tell you [my wife] Lisa and I had no idea that our life was going to take a whole different trajectory than what we had envisioned on that day.
“To me, it’s been a special ride, it’s been a fantastic ride. Quite the whirlwind obviously, the places that we’ve gone, the people we’ve met, the organizations we’ve been able to be part of. It raised awareness for us of the many needs out there.”
“It reminds you there are a lot of kids like Myles and Marlee that have lost parents,” Lisa added. “We look at it as we’re pretty fortunate. We still have [our soldier], but [those who don’t] need to be taken care of and the kids not forgotten.”
As I arrived at the Omaha, Nebraska, airport after a family vacation, I was met with waving American flags and expectant faces. No, they were not for me. I had the joy of watching United States servicemen and servicewomen arrive home, embraced in the arms of their loved ones.
It was an incredible moment to watch. The expectation of return often sustains the families back home as well as the military members overseas. Their anxious waiting came to a close, as families were reunited and made whole.
As I walked near where the buses were waiting, one man in uniform stood alone. I was young, and the memory is vague, but I walked up to him, shook his hand, and thanked him for his service.
Since that day during a family vacation, my appreciation for our armed forces has only grown, but I’ve also come to realize not every child knows to thank a man or woman in uniform.
Patriotism, a pride, a rootedness in country, is not something inherent. A sense of duty and devotion is a thing that must be taught, encouraged and cultivated.
When young Myles Eckert gave Lt. Col. Frank Dailey a note and the $20 he had found in a Maumee restaurant parking lot, his action did not come out of a vacuum. He had seen patriotism modeled in his mother and older sister Marlee. He knew the price of freedom because he had experienced the sacrifice necessary to maintain it.
During a recent interaction with a man who served in the Marine Corps, a friend of mine thanked the man for his service. He returned her thanks with an awkward momentary silence. “Thanks, I think,” he said. “I never know how to respond to that. I was just doing my job.”
But that job was a choice.
For some high school graduates, the military is the best choice for a career. Some recruits like working with firearms and grenades. Some join for adventure. Some because of duty. Most join because of a combination of things. Even during the draft, they still had a choice. Our military members chose to fight, rather than run.
Whether or not they fully considered the deeper implication of their choice makes no difference — it is because of their sacrifice that we can enjoy the freedom of life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.
Like Myles and Marlee, each person’s sense of patriotism and thankfulness must be cultivated. Many service members are thanked so rarely that they don’t know how to respond. Make it a habit to thank a man or woman in uniform every time you see one. Each one has accepted a task, the task to protect the lives and liberties of Americans, to defend family and friends as well as those they’ve never met.
Each face in this Toledo Free Press Military Yearbook is the face of someone who made a choice, who, despite the risk, found sacrifice for freedom most worthwhile. We thank the advertisers who supported this issue, especially Newsradio 1370 WSPD, Columbia Gas of Ohio and the American Red Cross of Northwest Ohio. We especially appreciate all those who shared stories, sent in photos and bared their souls to impart their wisdom. It is our duty to show them our thankfulness and gratitude for their service and sacrifice.
Toledo Free Press Staff Writer Amanda Tindall is projects editor for the 2014 Military Yearbook. She can be reached at [email protected].
Lucas County Republican Party discourages candidates, donors
To the editor,
As is well known by now, the Lucas County Republican Party is in disarray, as evidenced by the June 11 reorganization meeting. As background, I am the 59-year-old grandmother knocked to the ground by “security” at that meeting. While that incident is interesting, what led up to it is what’s important.
It started early when party Chairman Jon Stainbrook’s people were checking in central committee precinct people. Observers and other duly elected central committee people (other than his) were barred from entering the building. Fortunately, TV cameras showed up and that practice ended.
When checking in central committee representatives, some people (Stainbrook’s friends) received orange lanyards. I did not receive a lanyard. I asked Meghan Gallagher and Kelly Bensman why I did not get a lanyard and I was subjected to more verbal assault by their security people and threatened with being thrown from the building.
After the meeting was called to order, things started to go downhill fast. New rules were introduced without the opportunity to review them. The new rules were read aloud by the chair, Gallagher, who only recognized “orange lanyard” committee people to speak and ignored the rest of the assembled central committee folks.
Our voices were strategically ignored. Did we get loud? Yes, what else could we do to try to represent our districts if we were excluded from participating? It was at this time that some longtime officeholders, Rob Ludeman, Lynn Olman and probably a dozen other prominent Republicans, left in disgust, some of them tearing up their certificates saying they couldn’t be a part of the fiasco.
The “security” consisted of really big guys in tight black T-shirts designed to show off their muscles. But that wasn’t enough; they also openly carried guns, Tasers and handcuffs. I believe they were there to intimidate the central committee people without the lanyards because they only harassed those of us who did not get a lanyard. I believe that was also part of Stainbrook’s strategy. Some of the security folks said they were only following orders when questioned as to why they were acting as they were to those of us without lanyards.
From the beginning, I was targeted by security. I was pushed around and told to shut up and sit down, even as the lanyard people were free to do as they pleased. I was repeatedly threatened with being thrown out of the building. I was told there were restricted areas I could not be in even though “orange lanyard” central committee people were there. I was threatened verbally all night long. I was pushed forcefully on more than one occasion. At one point, Central Commission Vice Chairman Jonathan Anderson slapped my cellphone out of my hand. It landed 3 feet away on the floor with the cover knocked off of it.
After Stainbrook had won his vote, I left the meeting for a couple of minutes and went outside for a breath of fresh air; when I attempted to return to the meeting, I was met by Alex Rivera and three big guys with guns. I showed my credentials, explaining (yes, loudly, because they were shouting in my face) that I had not only the right, but also the obligation to my precinct to be in that meeting. Then I was gang-pushed to the door and knocked to the ground. Another gentleman, even though he was following orders from “security,” was pushed to the ground as well. All of this is documented on videotape. Police and EMT were called. You can see this at http://www.lcrp2014.com/.
I am relatively new to politics. I am only doing this because I think my grandkids deserve better. I am shocked at the way this unfolded. I did nothing to deserve being treated that way. The people of Lucas County deserve better.
So what’s the solution? More people have to get involved. We need more people to stand up against this kind of politics. We do not have to settle for politics as usual. There are simple ways to help change the status quo: get involved as a precinct person and get active in a local Republican club. Stay informed by getting on the Northwest Ohio Conservative Coalition email list at www.nwohiocc.com.
While all of this is interesting, and might be dismissed as in-party faction disagreements, I believe the most important part of the meeting was when Ludeman and the others walked out because they do not want to be part of this lawless organization. It’s not just a faction in the party dispute.
The bottom line is this: Amid this turmoil, why would good people be inspired to run for office as a Republican? Why would donors contribute money?
Diana Skaff Jerusalem 1 Precinct Lucas County Republican Party
