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Canning: Mandate tramples liberty

By
Toledo Free Press
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With the enactment of the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services (HHS) mandate for “free” contraception coverage, religious liberty — the inherent natural right of every individual — has been trampled.

You’ve undoubtedly heard about the HHS mandate announced Jan. 20 that will require all insurance plans to provide coverage, at no cost to the subscriber, for:

✯ Abortion-inducing drugs

✯ Contraceptives

✯ Sterilization

✯ Patient education and counseling for women of reproductive age

When the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act — aka ObamaCare — was passed in March 2010, the 2,700-page monstrosity was designed to have some provisions begin six months after the law’s passage. Then, piece by piece, more aspects of the law were rolled out, all of which have been burdensome, costly and confusing for employers who provide health plans to their employees.

The provision at issue now, defined in an August 2011 interim HHS ruling, required most new and renewing health plans to provide “preventive services” with no cost-sharing as of August 2012. The services were to include contraceptive coverage, but allowed some nonprofit religious employers the choice to refuse those services.

Then, on Jan. 20, HHS Secretary Kathleen Sebelius announced a “new element” to the interim but soon to be final rule: Religious employers must also provide contraception coverage by August 2013.

Wow! Religious employers get a whole year beyond secular employers to abandon their moral consciences and obey the un-elected bureaucrats’ orders.

The breathtaking arrogance is illustrated in this quote from Sebelius on the new element: “I believe this proposal strikes the appropriate balance between respecting religious freedom and increasing access to important preventive services.”

In other words: Religious employers have one year to get over themselves and realize they are unenlightened and discriminating against women. Bottom line: Religious employers such as Catholic hospitals, Christian schools and faith-based pregnancy centers will have to provide and pay for the coverage of these services regardless of the violation to their moral conscience. I suppose we should be grateful there is an exemption for houses of worship, albeit an exemption that is quite possibly the narrowest exemption in federal law to date. Even these houses of worship will be forced to certify their exempt status via cumbersome paperwork submitted on the government’s timetable.

You may be thinking: Why all the fuss? Wasn’t this conflict over religious liberty and moral conscience resolved with President Obama’s accommodation to religious groups announced at a Feb. 10 news conference?

Don’t be deceived. There was no accommodation. The president announced he would force insurance companies (also an abuse of power) to provide contraceptives for “free,” thus “relieving” the burden on the conscience of religious employers.

The truth of the matter is the proposal:

1. Does not resolve the moral issue at the core of the matter. There is no such thing as “free” contraception. Insurance companies will increase premiums for religious groups and therefore shift the cost for the morally offensive services back to them.

2. Is unworkable for the religious groups and other employers who self-insure and are in essence both employer and insurer.

3. Was contradicted that same afternoon when the administration filed the final regulation as written in August. No changes were made.

As expected, on March 1 the Democrat-controlled Senate voted 51-48 to table the Respect for Rights of Conscience Act as amended to the Transportation appropriations bill by Sen. Roy Blunt, (R-Mo). An excerpt from Blunt’s statement reads: “The Obama Administration’s health care mandate is an egregious violation of our First Amendment rights. Unfortunately, this is only a glimpse of what Americans can expect as a result of President Obama’s government health care takeover.”

✯ Joan Canning is the owner of HR Advocate LLC, a Toledo-based human resource and management consulting business. Find more information at www.hradvocate.biz.

Pounds: Wheels on the bus

By
Tom Pounds
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When Tarzan swings through the jungle, he doesn’t let go of a vine until the next one is securely in hand. That’s the image that comes to mind as Perrysburg deals with its post-TARTA future.

Toledo Free Press took some heat a few weeks ago with an election summary comment that called Perrysburg’s opting out of TARTA service “a short-sighted decision that will have major ramifications for the people who depend on the bus service for transportation. Time will tell if the money the individuals save is worth the sacrifice to the community as a whole.”

A number of Perrysburg readers wrote to say we were the ones being short-sighted, and one wrote that “several years of research have gone into the efficiency and efficacy of the service received from TARTA and the options available to continue to provide public transportation to citizens who need it. Many meetings between the city and the provider have taken place, with unrealized promises of more timely and value-added service. For all these years of membership, the city has paid an inordinately high premium to TARTA in view of the limited ridership of its citizens.”

Toledo Free Press was invited to attend the March 21 public meeting about Perrysburg’s efforts to replace TARTA. While the respected city may have diligently researched its decision to ask voters whether to leave TARTA, it does not seem to have an option ready for people who depend on public transportation.

“I’m a property owner; I’ve been paying taxes for 40 years and I absolutely do not want to pay taxes for you to go to the Mud Hens, for you to go to the symphony and for you to go somewhere else,” said Denny Barrett, a Perrysburg resident who spoke during the meeting. “Get yourself there — that’s not something the taxpayers should be paying for.”

It is fair to wonder whether Barrett has considered that the system works both ways; the same buses that take people to Toledo also bring people to Levis Commons and other shopping destinations in Perrysburg.

Barrett and other Perrysburg residents may be subject to a property tax levy to replace TARTA (although the legality of that may be challenged), which may save residents money but is going to be a source of concern until those who use the service know more.

There were several questions raised at the meeting about service quality, cost and compliance with the Americans with Disabilities Act.

It seems odd that Perrysburg would spend so much time and energy preparing to let go of the vine that is TARTA without having a clear plan for a smooth transition to the next vine. It is one thing to negotiate with a private company that isn’t sure if it will face competition with a service like TARTA, but with that competition factor removed, Perrysburg may not find itself in such a favorable bargaining decision.

We were prepared to apologize for mischaracterizing Perrysburg’s decision to leave TARTA as “short-sighted,” but nothing at the March 21 meeting convinced anyone that the next transportation vine is in sight, much less in hand.

✯ Thomas F. Pounds is president and publisher of Toledo Free Press and Toledo Free Press Star.

Rathbun: How not to invest in precious metals

By
Gary Rathbun
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In part two of this series, I will look at some ways not to invest in precious metals.

That is not to say any of the following are bad investments, they’re not, just that there are better ways to invest in metals if you are going for an inflation hedge and as insurance against really bad things happening in the economy.

One of the worst methods of investing in precious metals is through rare coins or numismatics. When you purchase a numismatic gold coin, say a 1929 double eagle, you are paying for not only the gold content but also the rarity and the grade or condition of the coin. Now, on a couple of fronts we can objectively evaluate the coin.

We know how many were struck and how many are known to exist today. So it is fairly easy to figure out the rarity. The 1929 Saint-Gaudens double eagle had 1.7 million minted. Most of the double eagles were returned to the mint and melted down. Some, however, were unofficially saved by treasury employees.

Estimates of the quantities saved range from a few dozen to several hundred thousand, depending on the date. To say the least, these specimens are rare and very few have come up for auction in the past couple of decades. The problem with using this coin as a store of value, meaning the gold content, is that as a collectible it is worth a lot more.

From one standpoint of investing this may be a good thing, but from the standpoint that you want to have something of value you can exchange for food or shelter, it is a very bad way of investing in gold. If it gets to the point of bartering for food and medicine, the rarity of the coin will mean nothing.

Secondly, the numismatic value of a coin is heavily weighted on the grade or the condition. Ratings range from MS (mint state) 1 to MS 70. An MS 70 coin is perfect and usually has never been touched by human hands without gloves. A coin that is MS 1 is usually a glob of metal and is not good for anything but melt-down value.

The difficulty with grading is that it is very subjective. I knew a dealer that would
purchase coins and pay a company to recertify them at a higher grade. The difference in price between an MS 60 and an MS 65 can be exponential. So grading is very critical and it doesn’t take much to lower the grade of a coin. A fingerprint left by someone not wearing gloves can lower the grade and the value several thousand dollars. So as a store of value and an inflation hedge, numismatic coins are not the way to prepare for a difficult economy.

Now, all of that being said, I do collect coins, have for most of my life and enjoy it very much as a hobby, but not so much as an investment against economic upheaval.

It is very important that when you look at investing in precious metals you know what you are buying and why. Many of the firms that advertise on the Internet do kind of a bait and switch.

I had a person come to me saying they invested in gold but what they had really purchased were rare coins; in the time gold went from $800 an ounce to $1,400 an ounce she lost more than $100,000 because the numismatic value decreased.

Actually, it didn’t decrease; the company that sold them to her marked it up so much on the purchase that the redemption value was below what she paid.

Next time we will discuss investing in mining companies and how to prevent yourself from being disappointed.

✯ Gary L. Rathbun is the president and CEO of Private Wealth Consultants, LTD. He can be heard every day at 4:06 p.m. on “After the Bell with Brian Wilson and the Afternoon Drive” and every Wednesday and Thursday at 6 p.m. throughout northern Ohio on “Eye on Your Money.”

He can be reached at (419) 842-0334 or email him at garyrathbun@ privatewealthconsultants.com.

Ready U session to cover summer weather safety

By
Erin Holden
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One downside to the unseasonably warm weather area residents have been enjoying lately is an unseasonably early start to severe weather season, said local weatherman “Blizzard Bill” Spencer.

“Here it is the middle of March when we should be talking about more cold and snow and instead we’re talking thunderstorms and May temperatures,” Spencer said. “When you’re talking about 20 degrees above normal and a jet stream farther north, we’ve already seen signs it could be a very busy season for severe weather.”

The 13abc meteorologist will discuss summer weather safety during an upcoming Ready U presentation. The free, hour-long session will start at 7 p.m. March 26 at the Main Library, 325 N. Michigan St., in Downtown Toledo.

Ready U, a yearlong series presented by the Red Cross of Greater Toledo and the Lucas County Emergency Management Agency, is designed to educate the public and prepare individuals and families for potential emergencies in Northwest Ohio.

Tornadoes — such as the fatal 2010 storms that destroyed Lake High School and the recent fatal storms in southern Ohio on March 2 — are the weather event most people think of when they think of severe summer weather, but hail, lightning and thunderstorms can also be dangerous, Spencer said.

“Everyone is always concerned about tornadoes, but you can get 100 mph winds out of thunderstorms, hail causes a lot of property damage and lightning on a soccer fi eld or in the pool can and does cause fatalities,” Spencer said.

Floods are another concern, Spencer said. “Fortunately, this year we don’t have a snow melt to worry about, but all these thunderstorms can create flooding,” Spencer said. “The flooding in Findlay a few years ago was caused by a summer thunderstorm complex that just sat over the city for several hours.”

Severe weather season in the Great Lakes region is typically May and June, Spencer said. It’s still unclear whether the early start will mean the season will also end early or be extended.

“There’s no way of knowing. Those are the two theories being floated,” Spencer said. “I think in the short term, over the next couple of months, we will see a very active severe weather season nationwide, including here.”

Despite the early warm weather, area planters should be wary of one more frost in late April or early May.

“There’s a potential there could be a frost issue down the road with plants,” Spencer said. “That could be a problem for farmers and gardeners.”

If the late freeze never comes, that could set the stage for a buggy summer, Spencer said. “We do want a frost and freeze to kill the fleas, mosquitoes and other bugs,” Spencer said. “We didn’t get that bad of a winter and people are saying, ‘Oh boy, it’s nice and warm,’ but wait a minute, what does that mean down the road? There’s a price to pay for everything.”

Allergy sufferers may feel the effects of the high pollen counts earlier than normal because of the warm temperatures, Spencer said.

“That’s something that’s going to be an issue for a lot of people and something to be aware of,” he said. “Everything is accelerated — allergies, blooming plants, severe weather. It’s crazy. It’s just nuts.”

Spencer said he hopes Ready U attendees leave feeling more confident about how to keep themselves safe.

“Preparedness is obviously the key with severe weather, whether it’s tornadoes, hurricanes, flooding, anything,” Spencer said. “With any natural disaster, if you are well prepared, your chances of survival are much greater.”

Emergency information packets and smoke detectors will be given away to the fi rst 50 attendees, said Red Cross Communications Specialist Jason Copsey.

Toledo Free Press is a media sponsor for the Ready U program. For more information, visit the website ready-u.com. ✯

March 21 designated to raise awareness of Down syndrome

By
Brigitta Burks
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Kaiden Rogers. Photo courtesy Sherri Rogers

Kaiden Rogers does a great elephant impression, loves pizza and tossing the ball outside.

His favorite movie is “The Wizard of Oz” and he’s quick to smile. He is like many 5-year-olds, except that he has Down syndrome.

His mother, Sherri Rogers, has been president of the Down Syndrome Association of Greater Toledo (DSAGT) for three years. One way to honor March 21, Worldwide Down Syndrome Day, and individuals like her son, is to “just take a step back and look at people as individuals. Remember that they’re all human beings and everybody deserves the same things that everybody else does,” Sherri said.

Sherri and husband Justin Rogers didn’t know Kaiden had Down syndrome during her pregnancy.

“Right at delivery, they said they thought he had Down syndrome,” she remembered.

Shortly after Kaiden’s birth, Sherri became secretary of DSAGT before moving up to president. Having Kaiden has changed her perspective in many ways.

“The reality of it is it opened my eyes to be a lot more open-minded, accepting, noticing people for who they are, not their diagnosis. It definitely made me a lot more compassionate for the special needs community. I mean, I was not an advocate for anything before,” she said.

Sherri also works for the United Way Family Information Network with special needs families. In her position with DSAGT, Sherri oversees several events, organizes advocacy efforts and provides information and support to families.

The group serves about 430 families in the Northwest Ohio area, a bit smaller than groups in Cincinnati, Columbus and Cleveland, but Rogers has high hopes.

“Even in the past five years I’ve been involved with the Down Syndrome Association, we’ve grown so much and added so many new things. We’re not quite with the rest of them, but we’re working toward it,” Sherri said.

DSAGT also organizes a spring golf outing and the Buddy Walk in October to raise awareness and funds.

The Rogerses haven’t had many issues with the Toledo community’s acceptance of their son.

“For the most part, everybody’s very accepting of him. He has a great personality,” Sherri said.

What Kaiden gets noticed for most is his shock of red hair.

“Everybody always talks about his red hair. When people see him, they’re like, ‘Oh my gosh, look at that little redhead,’” Sherri said with a laugh.

The 5-year-old begins kindergarten this fall.

To donate to DSAGT or learn more, visit www.dsagt.org.

March is also Developmental Disabilities Awareness Month. The month kicked off with self-advocates from across the state, including about 20 people from Lucas County, traveling to the Ohio Statehouse Atrium on March 1.

Ohio Public Images, an information and advocacy group out of Toledo, along with the Ohio Department of Developmental Disabilities sponsored the kickoff celebration.

“Each year, the statewide kickoff event reinforces the fact that once we focus on the abilities of all citizens, we all benefit. By welcoming people with disabilities as equal community partners in the workforce, as well as in our schools and neighborhoods, our communities will be stronger,” said Lon Mitchell, executive director of Ohio Public Images.

According to REM Ohio, a group that provides services and support to those with developmental disabilities, getting to know someone with special needs is a good way to celebrate the month.

“The best way to get to know somebody [with special needs] is like getting to know anybody in the community. They have hopes and dreams just like you and me,” said Jim Oliver, director of REM Ohio’s Toledo location.

Toledoans can also attend several events put on by various groups throughout the month: ✯ Barbara McKenzie, who has a daughter with a developmental disability, is also the author of “Reflections of Erin: The Importance of Belonging, Relationships, and Learning with Each Other.” She was slated to host a free presentation at the Sanctuary of First United Methodist Church, 1526 E. Wooster St., Bowling Green at 11 a.m. March 16.

✯ Hope United Methodist Church will present a “Round and Square Dance” at 7 p.m. March 24. All proceeds will benefit Sunshine, a nonprofit offering support services to those with developmental disabilities. Tickets will be available at the door and cost $10 for adults and $6 for children. For more information, call Lindsay Graham at (419) 392-6868.

✯ A workshop “Customized Employment for Persons with Developmental Disabilities” is 6:30 p.m. March 28 at the Lucas County Board of Developmental Disabilities Family First Zone, 1155 Larc Lane. This presentation is free, but registration is required with the Autism Society of Northwest Ohio.

Visit support.autism-society.org to learn more.

Titanic re-creation dinner April 14, 2012

By
Dock David Treece
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April 14, 2012, is the 100th anniversary of the sinking of Titanic. To commemorate those lost (including several from the Toledo area) and to celebrate the continuing disaster relief efforts of the American Red Cross, an evening re-creating a Titanic dinner will take place at 6 p.m. April 14 at Central Park West.

The evening will feature a nine-course meal, ballroom dancing to music of the era and several silent auction items. Tickets are $100 per person.

Captain’s table tickets are sold out. Proceeds from the event will go to the American Red Cross, Greater Toledo Chapter. Th e evening will include:

✯ Live era music by TAPESTRY.
✯ Song memorial by Mark Graff
✯ Titanic prints signed by artist Rudolph Schroeder

✯ Titanic personal caricatures by Jim Beard

✯ Hand-rolled cigars

✯ Ballroom dance instruction by Paulette’s Dance Studio

The event is sponsored by Toledo Free Press, Louisville Title and Midwest Terminals. FOX Toledo is the event’s media partner.

The dinner is part of a Titanic memorial series that includes a commemorative issue of Toledo Free Press, displays in Toledo-Lucas County Public Libraries, Rave Motion Pictures presentation of James Cameron’s “Titanic 3D” and an artifact exhibit at Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Mich.

Barhite: Cedar Point ticket scam takes people for a ride on Facebook

By
Brandi Barhite
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The possibility of free Cedar Point tickets took a bunch of local people for a ride March 13.  I was among those excited enough to think that Cedar Point was giving away tickets.

The promotion read, “Receive 4 Free Tickets to Cedar Point (Limited Time Only). Cedar Point is currently giving away 4 free tickets to each Facebook user for a limited time!”

It was a two-step process to get the free tickets. First, the Facebook user had to click on the link and share the page. Then, the user had to add a comment like, “Thanks, I love Cedar Point!”

That real-looking promotion caused quite the frenzy with people leaving messages like, “Thanks, I love Cedar Point!” “I have never been to Cedar point and I would LOVE to be able to go.” “THANKS, Cedar Point is awesome.”

I was skeptical, but decided to try it. Who doesn’t want free Cedar Point tickets?

I covered Cedar Point as part of my news beat when I worked as a journalist in Sandusky from 2001-07. It seemed like something Cedar Point might do for its fans, but it seemed unlikely as well.

Tickets to the park aren’t cheap and the promotion made it seem like everyone who shared the link would get four passes.

Well, the thought that “everyone” who shared the link would get tickets quickly faded to realization that “no one” would when I was asked to enter personal information and then taken to a site for unrelated promotions.

I began to suspect a scam, clicked out of the link and warned my sisters, who I had shared the link with.

The nagging thought that this was a scam was confirmed a few hours later when Bryan Edwards, a Cedar Point spokesman and friend, got on my Facebook and confirmed that this promotion was not real.

I followed up for additional details the next day. Edwards said that neither Cedar Point nor its official Facebook page was involved in this promotion.

“My personal Facebook page was lit up yesterday with questions about this (fake) offer,” Edwards said in an email.

Cedar Point tried to combat the unwarranted excitement by posting the following on its page: “There is a current Facebook scam advertising free tickets to Cedar Point. There are no ticket giveaways today. Please do not click or share the link — your account information may be compromised. The only contest we are running is our Climbing to a Million Contest, found within our Official Facebook page. We apologize for the situation and are working on finding a solution.”

Edwards said the best way to know if Cedar Point is doing an actual promotion is to visit www.cedarpoint.com, which has a link to the park’s official Facebook page. If the promotion isn’t there, it isn’t happening.

That leaves one question: “Who’s taking me to Cedar Point?

Osburn: Politics at the Pump

By
Ben Osburn
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The issue of high gasoline prices has become a political hot potato, one that each presidential candidate, as well as President Barack Obama, has weighed in on.

As of March 14, the average gasoline price was $3.81 a gallon, the highest it’s ever been at this time of year.

Politicians always make it a point to say that the United States is dependent on oil from the war-torn Middle East and to some extent this is true.

But according to 2011 estimates from the U.S. Energy Information Administration, by far the most oil comes from Canada, at about 2,800 barrels a day. Following in a distant second is Saudi Arabia, then Mexico.

Canada is of particular importance because it is there where the proposed Keystone XL pipeline would start. The pipeline, temporarily nixed by the Obama administration, would start in the oil sands of Calgary, Alberta, and transport crude oil to refineries in Texas.

The pipeline has brought controversy, due to the alleged harmful effects of the oil on the environment. The pipeline would route over the Ogallala Aquifer in Nebraska, sparking concerns over whether it would dirty drinking water for 2 million people.

The Obama administration largely rejected the pipeline because of a “rushed deadline” passed by Congress. It encouraged TransCanada, the company building it, to reapply for a permit that does not include going over the Aquifer or the Nebraska Sand Hills.

Amidst slipping approval ratings and an energy secretary, Steven Chu, who recently repealed comments about boosting the price of gas to European levels, the Obama administration has been quick to tout its achievements in domestic energy production. It cites the improvements in domestic oil production, which it claims is at the highest level since 2003.

The administration touts the success of the “cash for clunkers” program and points to increases in auto fuel economy as a means of weaning the country away from oil consumption. It also cites increases in natural gas production, the likes of which haven’t been seen in 30 years, and a surge in green energy production.

Obama defended his “all of the above,” energy strategy and said there is no quick fix to rising gas prices.

Not surprisingly, the GOP candidates have been quick to lambaste the president’s energy policy.

All the candidates approve of building Keystone now. Former Gov. Mitt Romney has taken an interesting approach, saying that the country “deserves” the Canadian oil. Rick Santorum has stated that the building of the pipeline is “absolutely essential,” and that it would provide a safe, way for jobs to be created and oil to be transported. Newt Gingrich approves of the pipeline as well, and posits that the Obama administration has continuously rejected measures that would decrease gasoline prices.

Gingrich arguably has the boldest energy plan. His campaign claims that if elected, he would drive gasoline prices to below $2.50 a gallon. His plan to do this not only involves approving Keystone, but reopening areas on the Gulf of Mexico for energy exploration, and ending the ban on oil shale development in the American West.

However, in response to this, Obama labeled $2 gas aspirations a “political move.”

In addition to supporting Keystone and drilling for domestic oil and natural gas with the rest of the candidates, the Santorum campaign has taken a tough stance against government energy subsidies. If elected, Santorum said he would eliminate all government energy subsidies and tax credits. This would include money for renewable energy sources like wind and solar energy, as well as tax credits for hybrid vehicles. Doing so would free up the marketplace for other forms of domestic energy production.

Santorum believes that it is not the government’s role to force green technology into the marketplace.

The Romney campaign has put particular emphasis on nuclear energy production. If elected, Romney says he would expand Nuclear Regulatory Commission capabilities to allow for more nuclear reactors to be developed. While not taking as harsh of a stance as Santorum against alternative energy, Romney would reduce its operational funding and shift the money to fund more apolitical measures, like basic alternative energy research.

✯ Ben Osburn is a graduate student in political science at the University of Toledo.

Miller: What the world needs now

By
Michael Miller
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I have read enough John Irving novels to know it is impossible to construct a figurative protective dome around one’s family.

As our sons, Evan, 5, and Sean, 3, experience more of the world and its many wonders, I struggle with the balance between letting them explore and stumble or being a “helicopter parent,” hovering, removing obstacles and trying to stay one step ahead with an endless roll of Bubble Wrap, which hides the world even as it softens it.

Evan is rounding the corner toward the end of kindergarten, and it has been thrilling to watch his exponential growth. Hearing him count to 100 and watching him read his way through beginner’s books, sounding out unfamiliar words until they click, are among my life’s great joys.

I did not grow up in a particularly warm or loving household, which was great training for being a journalist. But I had some tremendous role models in friends’ families, and married a woman from a large, close and loving family, so I understand the importance of expressing love to family and friends.

If Evan and Sean know nothing else about life, they know they are loved. Their mom and I tell them openly and freely, not from habit, but from overwhelmed hearts filled with gratitude for their health and very existence. The boys hear “I love you” from their parents, their grandparents, their many aunts and uncles, their extended family and the groups of friends in our lives.

We are teaching them that, in addition to all the love they are blessed to have in their lives, there is an even greater love promised to them through their creator and heavenly host. The Cleavers, Waltons, Huxtables, Barones, Hecks and Dunphys got nothin’ on us.

But outside the protective parameters of home and family, Evan is learning some tough lessons about love and expression. He recently told a friend on the bus “I love you,” and the friend reacted by calling him weird and pushing him away. This hurt Evan’s feelings and led to a dinner table discussion about what love means to different people and the reality that not everyone shares their feelings the same way, or is open to having other’s feelings shared with them.

It broke my heart to have to add conditions to Evan’s idea of unconditional love. How sad for the world that by 5 years old, some kids are already growing cynical and adverse to expressing or receiving love in its most innocent form.

A week after the bus incident, Evan demonstrated some remarkable resilience. He was assigned to fill in a poster about himself for his special week at school, and in the lines for “What makes you special?” he wrote, in his nascent yet confident block letters, “I love everybody in the world.”

Sean, who does everything he can to keep up with his big brother, said, “Me, too!” I know that won’t always be true. But it is for now, and I bless their little hearts for not yet wavering under the peer pressure that may one day pierce their loving outlook, but for now is being kept at bay.

You’ll read this someday, Evan and Sean, long after I am passed to dust, but even then, I want you to know that you were right to love, you are right to love, and that even now, separated as we are, I love you.

Bonus Evan story

Raising two sons, I am particularly sensitive to language and the power of words, and struggle with my vulgar tendencies.

In the first of what will undoubtedly be a long line of parental hypocrisies, I am working to keep them from employing words they may occasionally hear from me (especially in traffic). Recently, winding through a line at Westgate’s Costco, Evan was seated in the shopping cart, happily stuffed with free food samples (he is fascinated by the myriad samples offered at Costco; it could be a piece of bagel, fruit, something freshly cooked or plastic wrap from the floor, and he’s captivated by the offering).

He politely asked for a clerk’s attention and said, “Would you like to hear a funny noise?” “It had better be a polite noise,” I admonished.

The clerk agreed and Evan blew a benign raspberry on the back of his hand.

“That could have been worse,” I thought to myself.

“That was funny,” the clerk indulged, smiling at Evan’s halo of innocence.

“Yes, it sounded like a fart!” Evan said, smiling ear to ear, halo shattered as if by one of his beloved Angry Birds.

“Evan!” I chided. “That’s potty talk. Apologize.”

The clerk, who was understandably cracking up but trying not to encourage the boy, motioned that it was OK, but I was trying to look stern.

Evan apologized and looked contrite, but I still felt compelled to emphasize the rudeness of his mistake, so I played the nuclear option: “Son, you know how Nana would react if she heard you talking that way.”

That got his attention and drained the humor from the situation.

As we pushed the cart toward the door, I kept the “daddy eyes” trained on him to show I meant business about the potty talk, taking my eyes off the large container of apples in the cart, which split and tumbled, apples rolling away as if fleeing from their gastronomical fate.

“Damn it!” I said.

“Daddy,” Evan said, smiling. “Am I going to have to talk to Nana?”

I gave him an apple, leaned in close and blew a raspberry at him.

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