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Media couple’s pregnancy loss leads to March of Dimes collaboration

By
Toledo Free Press
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Shaun and Sara Hegarty and their daughter Leah. Toledo Free Press photo by Joseph Herr.

On the air, nothing is off limits for Sara Hegarty.

On any given day as co-host of the Morning Rush on 92.5 KISS FM, she might endure teasing about her sex life or participate in any range of shudder-inducing stunts. The perils of guessing the wrong “American Idol” finalist or a Super Bowl champ vary for this radio personality. She has shaved off her eyebrows, swallowed a mouthful of crickets and explored a bathroom with her tongue. (She has video proof for any skeptics.)

When she and her family faced the devastating loss of her pregnancy last year, sharing the experience with listeners felt natural to Sara. Her husband, Shaun Hegarty, an anchor for FOX Toledo and frequent guest on the Morning Rush, agreed. Just a week after the miscarriage, the couple went on the air together. They relived their loss for thousands of radio listeners, even describing the moment they noticed the absence of their unborn child’s heartbeat.

“I live my life on the radio,” Sara said of the decision to go public. “I feel it’s my job to share this. Shaun and I, we let people into our lives every day.”

A year later, she plans to broadcast her story again at the March of Dimes’ March for Babies at Fifth Third Field Downtown on April 15. When she shares her story with the public this time, the tale will have a bittersweet twist: after a year of mourning her loss, dwelling on the uncertainty of her health and coping with the unsettling suspense of various medical tests, Sara is pregnant again.

It’s a boy.

‘Mommy, you just have to be patient’

In the front yard of their West Toledo home on a recent Sunday afternoon, Sara and Shaun are chasing their 4-year-old, Leah. The toddler is gleefully winning as the game alternates between duck-duck-goose and freeze tag. Her 4-foot-long inflatable princess wand might be considered an unfair advantage if she were playing with anyone other than her doting parents.

Shaun and Sara Hegarty with daughter Leah. The Hegartys suffered a miscarriage in 2011 but are expecting a baby boy in the fall.

Leah has no qualms about her new role as big sister. She has volunteered to wash the baby’s face during bath time and to introduce her new brother to the coolest Disney princes during their next trip to Florida. She became chummy with the royalty during her princess makeover on her recent visit to Disney World. Leah is so prepared, she even named the kid. Just call him: “Handsome Santa’s-Good-Boy Hegarty.”

How did she learn so much about being a big sister?

“Because I’m big and I know how to be,” the 4-year-old said.

Imagine having to convince this confident little girl that her sibling wasn’t coming after all.

It was April 26, 2011. Just past the 17th week of Sara’s second pregnancy. Not so very long after she awoke Shaun at 3 a.m. to report they were expecting another child, but not long enough to know that it would be another girl. It was just a routine ultrasound.

Sara knew there was something wrong before she asked the technician why she couldn’t see the heartbeat.

Because the heart isn’t beating, the technician told her calmly.

At first, she argued. But the doctor had her convinced before the appointment was over.

“Things were just in my head, spiraling. And I looked at him, and said, ‘What am I going to tell my daughter?” Sara recalled asking. “I thought this question was going to bring my baby back. If they know that I have a 3-year-old who thinks Mommy is having a baby, I’ll magically be pregnant again. No one had answers.”

It was Shaun who explained to Leah that mommy’s baby went to heaven. When she insisted on singing to the baby in her mom’s belly, they knew Leah didn’t understand. They aren’t sure whether Leah even understood months later, when the family launched balloons into the sky to reach the baby and Shaun’s father in heaven.

Sara’s faith has her suspecting that Leah’s advice to her the day she learned of the miscarriage may have been borrowed wisdom.

“That first day I cried a lot. A lot. And she looked at me, and said, ‘Mommy, you just have to be patient. You’ll have another baby in your belly,’” Sara said. “And I looked at her, and I’m thinking, ‘That’s probably the wisest thing anybody’s ever said to me.’”

‘The beginning of the nightmare’

Two days later, Shaun and Sara returned to the doctor for her surgical procedure, a dilation and curettage, to remove the remains of her pregnancy. The complications began during the final steps of the surgery when Sara started to hemorrhage. The surgical team administered a coagulant injection in order to clot her blood and minimize her blood loss, but, instead, the drug worsened Sara’s hemorrhaging.

Recovery wouldn’t be easy. For starters, Sara’s loss of blood caused a pounding headache that lasted for days without relief. Healing would be slower. And, there would be months of tests before doctors could theorize whether it was a genetic autoimmune disease or a blood clot that killed the baby.

“We were not to try to have another baby until they figured out what was wrong with me. That was the beginning of the nightmare,” she said.

‘Our lives on the radio’

Though Sara felt no pressure from the radio station or her on-air companions to share her story, she had no doubt that she should do so. The first person Sara called after her miscarriage was the host of the Morning Rush, Sid Kelly.

“I think I was building the courage to call my parents,” she said.

Between 10 and 15 percent of pregnancies end in miscarriage, according to the American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists. But there was little comfort for Shaun and Sara in statistics. Some comfort came from where they least expected: complete strangers. Radio listeners related to their heartache. Some offered poems to cope with the loss of a child, while others simply shared their own experience.

Kelly recalled the unusual absence of ringing phones as Sara and Shaun recounted their heartbreak. He counts that as evidence that listeners truly care about Sara, and her family’s ordeal.

“I think everybody (listening) stopped their day to hear what happened to Sara,” he said. “She is who she is on the radio, every time she’s been over to my house for dinner, or hanging out after the show. We share so much of our lives on the radio, maybe that is a surprise.”

After Shaun and Sara shared their story on the radio, she was overwhelmed by dozens of phone calls and hundreds of emails. Many of the messages were from formerly expectant parents who had experienced the pain of a miscarriage.

“When this happened to us I was surprised to hear as many people on the air talking to her that went through this,” Shaun recalled. “I guess the numbers just didn’t really hit me until you start hearing personal stories.”

Reaching out

Suzanne Weller, executive director for the March of Dimes in Northwest Ohio, was listening when Sara and Shaun shared their story. She reached out to explain the resources the organization could provide, and explained that the mission of the March of Dimes is for each woman to have a healthy pregnancy and healthy baby. Sara’s involvement and willingness to share her story with radio listeners have helped the organization’s largest annual event, the March for Babies, grow, Weller said. There are 3,000 participants registered for the event, which is a boost of 500 since last year.

“The beautiful thing about Sara is she is very honest and very clear,” the executive director said.

As Sara endured several months of inconclusive medical testing to determine the cause of her miscarriage, she learned that her baby had been a girl. Though she expected the news to help her cope with the loss, it created additional pain. What helped was for Sara and Shaun to name the baby she lost. They agreed on Hope, and Sara started wearing a bracelet and anklet with a “hope” charm. When the anklet broke during the family’s holiday trip to Disney World, she panicked. But Shaun had a feeling she didn’t need hope anymore.

On New Year’s Eve in Florida, Sara discovered she was pregnant again.

Though their luck and Sara’s health may be improving, they can’t help but be cautious until the baby comes in September. Sara’s pregnancy is considered high-risk, so she must inject herself daily with anticoagulants to avoid the blood clots that may have affected her previous pregnancy. But she’s going above and beyond doctor’s orders, by cutting out all the foods that any medical study or old wives’ tales suggest might be harmful. Shaun’s persistent superstitions have kept him from buying diapers or baby wipes.

“The last time, with the miscarriage, we didn’t imagine anything was going to happen. It didn’t enter my head that there would be an issue. And there was,” Shaun said. “So this time, we’re not taking anything for granted. I’m certainly not.”

A platform to transform

Since Sara and Shaun first accepted an invitation to host the charity’s annual Signature Chefs Auction this past fall, Sara now embraces additional responsibilities as a board member and active fundraiser for the local March of Dimes. She credits her newfound involvement in the nonprofit organization for helping her to move past the grief of her miscarriage. The charity gives her another platform to transform her grief into something positive, and meet other women who are learning how to do the same. She’s found healing in that.

“I’m such a high-strung person, and I stress out and I worry about everything. And I feel that I’ve really just started letting things roll off that I can’t fix,” Sara said. “There really are no words of wisdom, because everybody goes through this differently, but just for women to know they’re not alone. I think that’s the biggest thing. Not every woman gets an influx of one hundred emails when she shares her story. I feel like it’s my job to get it out there.”

Transportation funding discussed at 2012 TMACOG summit

By
Duane Ramsey
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Officials from the Ohio Department of Transportation (ODOT) led discussions on how to fund the infrastructure in the state at the 18th Annual Transportation Summit.

The event took place March 30, sponsored by the Toledo Metropolitan Area Council of Governments (TMACOG). More than 200 elected officials, engineers, planners, service providers and business people attended at the Grand Lobby of the Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. Plaza in Downtown Toledo.

“Infrastructure is critical to the prosperity of our communities, states and the nation. The transportation system impacts everybody’s life every day,” said Jerry Wray, ODOT director. “We’re in a crisis and facing a massive deficit. Funding for projects is far less than we’ve had in the past. We need to look at different methods to establish long-term financial solutions to fund a statewide transportation system that works.”

There is currently a $1.6 billion shortfall for the list of priority projects to meet the transportation needs in Ohio, according to ODOT.

Wray said state leaders will not give communities false hopes for projects that may be delayed or not get funded.

Two local projects that could be affected are the redesign of the I-75/I-475 exchange and widening of I-75 from Phillips Avenue to the I-280 exchange. There is a federal stalemate over funding of transportation.

Although Congress recently passed the ninth extension of transportation funding, it’s only for 90 days, Wray said. State officials are fighting for 100 percent return of the federal fuel tax as it now receives only 86 percent of each dollar of federal tax generated in Ohio.

However, Wray said that they can’t wait for that to happen.

ODOT has reduced its statewide staff by 300 workers, mostly by attrition, and is taking other cost-cutting measures across the board, Wray said.

“We’re exploring opportunities for alternative sources of revenue that could include private enterprises. We see a great value in engaging private investment for public transportation,” Wray said. “We have to have a different system and an open process to balance our revenue with the projects to be built.”

There are 101 rest areas in Ohio with 45 of them located on interstate highways, costing $150 million to maintain annually. Commercializing rest areas and turning some into service plazas along with seeking sponsorships for infrastructure projects could generate $100 million to $200 million for transportation projects.

ODOT officials are working with the Transportation Advisory Council and state planning people to determine what projects will be funded. A local member of that council, Richard Martinko, director of the University Transportation Center and Intermodal Transportation Institute at UT, was recognized for his contributions.

The Ohio Turnpike is possibly the largest asset of value in the State of Ohio with 241 miles of highway that generate $250 million in revenue annually, according to ODOT. It is currently operated by the Ohio Turnpike Commission, separate from ODOT.

“It’s an important asset that we need to leverage for the future,” said James Riley, deputy director of the Division of Innovative Delivery at ODOT. “The old model doesn’t work so what do we do?”

The state began a study early this year to review how the Ohio Turnpike is operated and maintained, but it isn’t expected to be completed until late 2012. The study is being conducted by KPMG, a national consulting firm and will explore a range of ownership and operating alternatives for the turnpike.

Those alternatives include moving control of the turnpike to ODOT, a mixed public-private lease option, or keeping it under the control of the Ohio Turnpike Commission, Riley said.

The team, led by KPMG, has held meetings around the state, including in Fremont and Sandusky, and met with the Teamsters union representing truck drivers to obtain input for the analysis. It will look at private investment markets and availability of funds as alternatives to the status quo.

“It’s all about value for money,” said Tim Wilschetz, a principal of KPMG who spoke at the summit. “You want to make sure the state is making a good decision involving the turnpike.”

Riley reported that 90 percent of the turnpike’s annual revenue is generated by traffic traveling across or through the state. Fifty percent of the total revenue comes from commercial vehicles using the turnpike.

Several people at the summit raised the possibility of increasing the gas tax in Ohio to offset the cost of the state’s transportation system.

“There’s a growing consensus in the country that the gas tax is no longer the proper vehicle to fund transportation in the future. There’s no interest in gas tax increases in Columbus or Washington at this time,” Wray said.

A panel of local and state transportation officials reviewed a number of major transportation projects that will be undertaken in the new construction season. The panel was led by Mike Gramza, planning and engineering administrator for ODOT District 2, and Robin Whitney, commissioner of the Division of Engineering Services for the City of Toledo.

The rebuilding of the northbound side of the I-475 bridge over the Maumee River will be undertaken this year with a completion scheduled by July 1 at a cost of $5 million. The southbound lane was rebuilt early this year.

The resurfacing of I-475/U.S. 23 from Central Avenue north to the Michigan line would result in the U.S. 23 northbound ramp to I-475 being reduced to one lane. The $4.7 million project would be completed this year.

Also scheduled for resurfacing in 2012 is I-75 from Perrysburg to the Maumee River.

The new four-lane highway for US 24 from Maumee to Waterville is scheduled for completion by September, according to ODOT.

The widening of I-475 from I-75 to Secor Road in Toledo will continue with the completion of the new ProMedica Parkway in 2012 and the $85 million project by the end of 2013.

The relocation of State Route 18 around North Baltimore to its exchange with I-75 will begin this year.

The rebuilding of the Anthony Wayne Bridge High-Level over the Maumee River, a 24-month project that will close the span to replace all decks and approaches as well as checking all cables, is scheduled to begin in 2013.

Food pantry, clothing program helping Owens students

By
Erin Holden
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Student Morgan Eisch greets visitors to the food pantry at Owens Community College's Toledo-area campus. Toledo Free Press photo by Sarah Ottney

After becoming aware of a need among students, staff at Owens Community College recently opened food pantries on its Toledo and Findlay campuses and a clothing initiative at its Toledo campus.

The pantries, which offer free, nonperishable food to Owens students with a valid student ID, have been well-utilized since opening in mid-February, said Krista Kiessling, director of service learning at Owens.

“It’s been wildly successful so far,” Kiessling said. “We had 129 students in February and we’ve already far surpassed that for March with 230. We’ve gone through several hundred pounds of food a month.”

The Career Closet, which opened in mid-March, offers professional men’s and women’s clothing for students who need clothes for a job, job fair or interview, Kiessling said. About 30 students have utilized the service so far. Available attire includes suits, jackets and blazers, professional shirts, blouses, sweaters, slacks, skirts, dresses, ties, belts, briefcases, portfolios, purses and shoes.

To use the services, people must show a valid student ID.

Students can come in once a semester for clothing and once a week for food, Kiessling said.

Most of the food items were donated by the Toledo Seagate Food Bank while the bulk of the clothing was donated by faculty and staff members, with donations also coming from students and community members, Kiessling said.

The pantry at Owens is the first of its kind in Northwest Ohio. Wright State University in Dayton and Cuyahoga Community College in Cleveland also have pantries. Michigan state University in East Lansing was one of the first in the nation to have a pantry on campus.

“We weren’t trying to be the first. We were trying to jump on the bandwagon of these others who are doing it and doing it well,” Kiessling said. “I’m just really excited about the project. I think it’s a wonderful project for any campus. I know UT is thinking about setting one up and I have been in conversations with BGSU about setting one up. It changes the culture of the entire college, in a good way.”

The idea for the pantry came last year after Owens started a community garden project.

“We had some students approach us about coming in after hours to pick food because they needed it,” Kiessling said. “We said, ‘Absolutely,’ but that was kind of the light bulb moment. As the growing season ended, we realized we needed an ongoing service.”

People don’t think of college students as going hungry, but many struggle to make ends meet, Kiessling said.

“Even at four-year schools where students are living on campus there are still students who are hungry,” Kiessling said. “It’s just one of those topics that isn’t talked about much. People don’t equate college students with poverty. Being able to go to college is a privilege, but many students are sacrificing more than we know to be able to get that education.”

The clothing project was spearheaded by a group of faculty members who approached Kiessling wanting to help.

“They came to me wanting to help the pantry, and I told them about a pipe dream I had been wanting to do [with the Career Closet] and they launched it, which I’m so grateful for,” Kiessling said.

In addition to providing a direct service to students in need, the projects offer service learning opportunities for other students, Kiessling said.

“We have marketing students creating a marketing plan, accounting students setting up a bookkeeping system, nursing students teaching dietary and nutrition awareness, students using it as a source of research,” Kiessling said. “Students really are able to apply any disciplinary framework through the pantry.”

Student Morgan Eisch, a psychology major, works the intake desk at the Toledo area campus.

“There’s been such a need,” Eisch said. “A lot of students have been utilizing it.”

The pantry is located in Heritage Hall Room 109 on the Toledo-area campus in Perrysburg and at the Maintenance/Department of Public Safety Building Room 106 on the Findlay campus.

The Career Closet is located within the pantry on the Toledo-area campus.

In Toledo, the pantry and Career Closet are open from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Tuesdays and 6-8 p.m. Wednesdays. In Findlay, the pantry is open from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Thursdays.

For more information, call 1-800-Go-OWENs, ext. 2275 or (567) 661-2275.

Professor chronicles life as “Katie’s Mom”

By
Brigitta Burks
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Barbara Holdcroft, professor at Terra State and adjunct professor at Lourdes, writes of life as "Katie's Mom." Toledo Free Press photo by Brigitta Burks

Barbara Holdcroft is a writer, assistant professor at Terra state Community College and an avid skier — but mostly, she’s just Katie’s mom.

Holdcroft, also an adjunct professor at Lourdes University, is the mother of 32-year-old Katie, who is disabled and cannot speak.

Holdcroft wrote a book “I’m Katie’s Mom: Pointers for Professionals and Parents of the disabled” on her experiences with her daughter. She is hosting a signing of the book April 14.

When Katie was little, there wasn’t much information on having a special-needs child available, Holdcroft said. Still, the mother was fearless.

“My motto with Katie was ‘Just take her everywhere’,” she said. At the encouragement of a friend, Holdcroft began writing what she called “Katie stories.”

“I started every one the same way and ended the same way. ‘Hello, my name is Katie, I’m disabled’ … and then at the end, ‘I may not have done X, Y or Z, but I sure had fun,’ because Katie has fun everywhere,” Holdcroft said.

However, Holdcroft found the stories didn’t go very far. Her son Kent had an idea.

“My son said, ‘Mother, look at all the things you’ve learned; you should start telling people about it’ because it was not easy 30 years ago to know where services were,” she recalled.

The resulting book, released in 2008, was “I’m Katie’s Mom.”

“There’s a lot of stuff in there that gives you a little insight into what kind of steps you need to take to deal with people or help them gain their independence; there’s a good deal of humor,” Holdcroft said.

The title comes from Katie’s near celebrity status in their community.

“Most people don’t know who I am. I only have relevance because I’m Katie’s mom, truly,” Holdcroft said.

Some of the wisdom in Holdcroft’s book was hard-won.

Katie was part of a group that wasn’t allowed to ride the attractions at the Lucas County Fair, an event that made the news in the late ’90s. The Holdcrofts sued Anthony Wayne Schools after the district said it wouldn’t allow Katie to attend a school in Maumee.

“[Acceptance in the community] runs the gamut. I mean, I’ve had family members uninvite us to things,” Holdcroft said.

Still, the family has found a community within its church. Katie, who plays softball, rides horses, skies and swims, won Special Olympic medals along with Holdcroft in a joint competition where the pair’s scores were added together. Katie and her mother wore their medals to deliver the gifts to the altar one day at Mass. The medal-winner
took the chance to show off her awards at the altar, complete with a thumbs up.

“I had to capture her to get her to sit down again; it was really funny,” Holdcroft said.

One couple from church approached Holdcroft afterward and said they were touched by the incident.

“It gave us a whole new meaning to what it means to take your gifts to the altar,” they told Holdcroft.

Holdcroft’s contract with her publisher has run out and now the remaining books are in her basement, but still available for sale.

“The books do me no good in the basement. The whole point of writing this was not to get rich but to get the information out to people who might want some answers,” she said.

The book signing is at J’s Bookshelf, 6377 Monroe st., Sylvania, 11 a.m. to 1 p.m. April 14. “I’m Katie’s Mom” is $11. To purchase a copy outside the signing, email [email protected].

Retirement guys: Four financial spring cleaning tips

By
Mark Clair & Nolan Baker
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Financial spring cleaning should be done once a year. Use these four tips to get started this year.

Rebalance investments annually: A good rule of thumb is to review all investments annually and look at the asset allocation and rebalance the accounts. This can help reinforce the long-term strategy of buying low and
selling high and help maintain diversification. Ask a financial professional for a review or use online tools from sites like www.morningstar.com for an investment analysis.

Check into new or expiring law changes: The Bush-era tax cuts are set to expire at the end of this year. It is our opinion that tax rates will go up in the future. Thus, for many of the people we are talking with right now we are discussing Roth IRA strategies.

One strategy involves making contributions into Roth IRAs. Income limitation could come back into effect next year, making this a great year for high income earners to look at this option. Other times, a Roth conversion strategy can make sense for current retirement accounts. The main advantage for investors is they can pay taxes now versus later, which could be at a higher rate on what could be a higher balance.

Dust off old policies: Old life insurance policies can be another great area to review. More competition and longer life expectancies have driven down the cost of insurance at most insurance companies. Doing an insurance policy review can be an eye-opening experience on how offers vary from one company to the other.

Update documents: New grandchildren, a loss of a loved one, a marriage — you name it, life changes occur all of the time.

As life changes occur, not only is it important to make sure your legal documents, like wills and trusts, are up to date, it is important as well to make sure beneficiary designations get
updated. Accounts such as retirement plans, life insurance policies and annuities should contain named beneficiaries. If these accounts do not get updated as life changes occur an account owner’s assets may not be paid out the way the owner thought.

Make any changes necessary and make sure the changes have been acknowledged in writing.

For more information about The Retirement Guys, tune in every Saturday at 1 p.m. on 1370 WSPD or visit www. retirementguysradio.com. Securities and Investment Advisory Services are offered through NEXT Financial Group Inc., Member FINRA / SIPC. NEXT Financial Group, Inc. does not provide tax or legal advice. The Retirement Guys are not an affiliate of NEXT Financial Group. The office is at 1700 Woodlands Drive, Suite 100, Maumee, OH 43537. (419) 842-0550.

Nationally known grief counselor to speak in Toledo on April 23-24

By
Brigitta Burks
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Author and grief counselor Alan Wolfelt will present seminars in Toledo. Photo courtesy Alan Wolfelt.

At age 16, well-known counselor Alan Wolfelt already knew he wanted to help those reeling from the grief associated with death.

As a young person, he lost his best friend and grandparents and wrote a mission statement that his life’s goal was to help those with similar experiences. By age 19, he had written his first book on loss.

Now, about 30 books later, he is director of the Center of Loss and Life Transition in Fort Collins, Colo. He travels the country with his message of promoting companionship with grievers instead of treating them.

On April 23 and 24, Wolfelt will bring that message to Toledo at two free events organized by Walker Funeral Homes. “[Wolfelt’s] very intellectual, but also funny. There’s a lot of interesting and meaningful stories he shares,” said Keith Walker, president of Walker Funeral Homes.

Walker attended a retreat at Wolfelt’s Colorado center in 2004, an experience he called “a great, great thing.”

An avid reader of Wolfelt’s books, Walker first invited the counselor to Toledo two years ago and plans to bring him back every other year if possible.

The April 23 seminar topic is “exploring Critical Questions for When someone dies,” and the April 24 topic is “exploring the dimensions of Adult Grief: The Caregiver’s Role.”

One issue Wolfelt will focus on is the importance of providing a safe place for mourners. “We live in one of the world’s most mourning-avoidant cultures,” he said. “We want to give people three days off and then ask things like ‘Are you over it?’”

Most people who care for those affected by grief fit into one of three categories: positive, neutral and negative.

Positive people “know their job is to enter what [mourners] think and feel,” Wolfelt said. These people remember that the mourner is the “expert” on his or her grief.

Neutral people “say things like, ‘If you need me, call me.’”

Negative people “make you feel worst. They try to take grief away.”

Being a positive influence and providing mourners a safe place is vital, Wolfelt said.

“If you have safe places and safe people, you can do what we call the work of mourning. sadly, most people don’t have those safe places,” he said.

Wolfelt’s message also stresses the idea of mourning and not just grieving. Grief is a feeling, Wolfelt said, while “mourning is a shared social response. It’s grief gone public.” Mourning can occur through talking with friends, journaling, visiting a counselor and in many other ways, Wolfelt said

“You integrate that loss and you are transformed,” he said of the mourning process. still, grief is something that doesn’t necessarily go away.

“We don’t get over grief. We live with and are changed by grief,” Wolfelt said. “You can replace a trinket. You can’t replace something precious that you’ve loved as a person and, in that case, you’re going to be different and that’s not a bad thing.”

Although painful, that transformation can bring about other positive changes.

“When somebody in your life dies, you come to realize what gives significance and meaning is the people you connect to,” Wolfelt said. As for the adage “Time heals all wounds”? “I always say grief waits on welcome, not on time. Time is only an influence if you have that safety,” Wolfelt said, adding that the cliché can be a passive way to deal with grief.

Mourners are often told it’s better to look ahead when all they want to do is remember the past.

“When you have a loss, there’s an instinct to go backward, but yet many of the messages we give are ‘Put the past in the past,’” Wolfelt said.

Instead, he recommended helping the mourner tell stories about his or her deceased loved one. It’s also important not to sugarcoat the process, he said.

“[People] try to put a happy face on [death] when we’ve come to understand there’s times in life when we have a downward turn in our psyche. We have darkness before we have light,” Wolfelt said.

Senior citizens tend to have more losses in their lives so it’s important to be sensitive to their mourning needs, he added.

“We need to recognize as we age we have more and more losses that require us to slow down and give attention to those losses,” Wolfelt said. “Allow an older adult to talk about what losses have shaped their life.”

Registration for “exploring Critical Questions for When someone dies” starts at 6:30 p.m. April 23. Registration for “exploring the dimensions of Adult Grief: The Caregiver’s Role” begins at 8 a.m. April 24. Both programs are free and at Central Park West, 3141 Central Park West, Toledo. Advance reservations are preferred. Call (419) 841-2422 to save a spot or visit www.centerforloss.com for more information.

Toledo, Perrysburg libraries mark Titanic anniversary

By
Brigitta Burks
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This newspaper page is part of local libraries' exhibit on the 100th anniversary of the Titanic sinking. Toledo Free Press photo by Caitlin McGlade.

Two area libraries are giving patrons an opportunity to learn more about the Titanic tragedy through exhibits and an event.

“You don’t really realize what happened around the sinking, all the ships out there, all the information they had,” said Rebecca Stanwick, an intern at Toledo-Lucas County Public Library who organized the exhibit there. “The big thing we’re trying to promote is not just history, but the information the library has available.”

The display is slated to be in the humanities department at the Main library, N. 325 Michigan St., from April 9 to May 31.

The “Titanic Sinks!” display will contain five cases highlighting the library’s extensive periodical collection from 1912.

Stanwick, a graduate student in the University of Toledo’s English department, organized the display so it tells a story.

“I do want the exhibit itself to tell the story of what happened; I don’t want it to be just random tidbits,” she said. The exhibit includes a timeline “so you can trace what exactly happened the night [the ship] sank, who got on a boat, who didn’t get on a boat,” Stanwick said.

“Titanic Sinks!” also contains information on William Harbeck, a filmmaker from Toledo, who died in the sinking. At the time of his death, Harbeck was traveling with a woman who may have been his mistress, Henriette Yvois. This resulted in confusion when his wife, based in Toledo, came to claim his body as some officials thought Yvois, who had also died, was Harbeck’s wife, Stanwick said.

“He has this huge, kinda weird connection and history involving his life and it all came out when he was declared dead from the sinking,” she said.

Stanwick’s “personal favorite” part of the display features some of the 15 couples who were honeymooning aboard the Titanic.

Another part highlights the finding of the Titanic in the 1980s.

The library also received 15-20 new books on the ship.

“Titanic Sinks!” is free and open during library hours, noon-8:30 p.m. Monday and Tuesday and 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Wednesday through Saturday.

Way Public Library has a display with periodicals and other items of the time period now through April 20 in the lower level gallery.

History buff and Rossford resident Judy Sikorski orchestrated much of the display, said Mary Meyer, programming/public information specialist at Way.

The main attraction at Way is an event planned for 6 p.m. April 13. Musical duo TAPESTRY starts the evening with harp and guitar and will play for an hour.

The 1958 film, “A Night to Remember,” based on the book by Walter Lord, will start at 7 p.m.

“People my age remember it used to be on TV all the time,” Meyer said. “We did not want to show the newer version, because we know so many people have seen it and it’s not as historically accurate.”

Also on April 13, a 1908 Brush car will be on display outside the library before traveling to “Tea on the Titanic” the next day.

The April 14 event, put on by Historic Perrysburg, Inc., is at the Carranor Hunt and Polo Club, 502 E. 2nd St., Perrysburg from noon-3 p.m.

The unsinkable Molly Brown, played by Perrysburg resident Patrice Spitzer, will make an appearance at the historically themed tea party.

The Way Library movie showing is free and includes refreshments. Library hours are 9 a.m. to 8:30 p.m. Monday through Thursday and 9 a.m. to 5:30 p.m. Friday and Saturday and 1-5 p.m. Sunday seasonally. Way Library is at 101 E. Indiana Ave., Perrysburg. The library has also added more than 20 new books on Titanic to its collection. In addition, Way has Titanic offerings for children.

“We’ve always been aware that children are fascinated by Titanic. Our children’s librarians say there’s quite an interest in it,” Meyer said.

The library will host a Fun Library After School Happenings program 4:30-5:30 p.m. April 19 for second through fifth graders. Students will learn facts on the Titanic’s sinking and the finding of its wreck, Meyer said.

A home-schoolers’ book discussion of “White Star: a Dog on the Titanic,” is set for 1:30 p.m. April 9 for ages 8-12.

Red Cross Titanic re-creation dinner April 14, 2012

By
Erin Holden
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Titanic sets sail on her ill-fated maiden voyage. AP file photo.

A nine-course meal, ballroom dancing to music of the era and a silent auction will be featured as part of an upcoming re-creation dinner commemorating the 100th anniversary of the sinking of Titanic.

The event is set for 6 p.m. April 14 at Central Park West, 3141 Central Park West Dr., and will commemorate those lost (including several from the Toledo area) as well as celebrate the continuing disaster relief efforts of the American Red Cross. Tickets are $100 per person. Captain’s table tickets are sold out.

Proceeds from the event will go to the American Red Cross, Greater Toledo Chapter.

“People are showing a lot of interest in this event,” said Jason Copsey, communications specialist with the American Red Cross. “They recognize how unique it is and, with it being the 100th anniversary of the sinking, it’s an opportunity to not only support a local organization, but also to have a memorable and historically themed evening.”

Actor Dave DeChristopher will portray Captain Edward Smith and the dinner will be a close approximation of a meal actually served on Titanic, Copsey said, including courses with beef, chicken, oysters and more. Silent auction items will include historic memorabilia, an autograph from a Titanic survivor, movie items and gift baskets donated from several local sponsors, including Paulette’s Studio of Dance, Kurt Nielsen Photography and G Forces. Local music group TAPESTRY, consisting of Denise Grupp-Verbon on harp and her husband, Michael, on guitar, will perform live music from the era as guests arrive.

“We have gathered a few selections from a Titanic songbook and we will also be featuring Celtic music selections since the Titanic sailed from Ireland,” Denise said. “We hope people enjoy it — although I’m happy to say we will not be going down with the ship. I think you’d be hard-pressed to find someone that is not fascinated by the story because it’s just such an extraordinary story of survival.”

The evening will also include:

  • A performance by local singer-songwriter Mark Graff
  • Titanic prints signed by local artist Rudolph Schroeder
  • Titanic personal caricatures by local artist Jim Beard
  • Hand-rolled cigars
  • Ballroom dance performance and instruction by Paulette’s Studio of Dance
  • Photos by Kurt Nielsen of Kurt Nielsen Photography

The event is sponsored by Toledo Free Press, Louisville Title, Midwest Terminals and Hollywood Casino Toledo. FOX Toledo is the event’s media partner.

The dinner is part of a Titanic memorial series that includes an April 15 commemorative issue of Toledo Free Press, displays in Toledo-Lucas County Public libraries, Rave Motion Pictures’ presentation of James Cameron’s “Titanic 3D” and an artifact exhibit at Henry Ford Museum in Dearborn, Mich.

Copsey said he hopes guests have a memorable evening.

“This will be a unique event. It’s not often you get to have something like this,” Copsey said. “It was Red Cross volunteers providing care to the people rescued from the site as soon as they got back to the harbor in New York City.

“All services the Red Cross provides are made possible by the generosity of the community. An event like this is a great way to show your support of the Red Cross while having a special evening.”

City finance director reflects on year with lobbying firm

By
Caitlin McGlade
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From left, Sean Dunn, Lisa Dodge and Christie Angel. Photo courtesy Sean P. Dunn and Associates.

A year has passed since the city hired a lobbying firm to represent Toledo’s interests in Columbus and the city finance director says the anniversary marks a success.

Sean P. Dunn & Associates has enabled Toledo to balance its budget and keep a close eye on discussions that fill the state’s House and senate floors, said Patrick McLean, city finance director.

The three lobbyists, Sean Dunn, Lisa Dodge and Christie Angel, are Columbus-based and represent nearly 25 associations, health care systems and companies. Toledo is the group’s only municipal client.

City Council approved the hire for $60,000 a year April 5, 2011.

“When cities are already struggling and the state has been struggling too trying to balance its budget, there is no more important time to have a lobbying presence in Columbus than right now,” McLean said.

McLean referenced the $48 million deficit that faced Mayor Mike Bell’s administration when he took office, combined with the dwindling amount of money eked out of the state each
year. Toledo received $25 million from the state in 2007; by 2013, the city will get only about $8 million.

One of the ways the city has handled the predicament is by going after delinquent taxes. In 2010, the extra effort pulled in $4.1 million in delinquent taxes, followed by $4.5 million in 2011.

Talks in Columbus are threatening to hinder the city’s efforts, McLean said. Proposals have began floating around that would centralize tax collection, authorizing the state to collect on behalf of cities. McLean said he doubts that a centralized force collecting taxes from numerous other entities would be able to act as aggressively as the city has. That’s where Sean P. Dunn & Associates comes in.

The lobbyists call McLean at the first hint of talks like these, McLean said. Then, they can take measures to try to stop proposals from further motion.

“Sometimes success is seen in what does not happen rather than what does happen,” he said.

He said a concrete example of success was the sale of parking garages.

The city needed to sell the garages to balance its budget but wording in a statute forbade the municipality from transferring the property. Basically, the city owned the meters but it did not own the streets where the meters sat. Up to the deadline on the state floors, Sean P. Dunn & Associates were able to change the law and the city then sold the garages to the Toledo-Lucas County Port Authority.

The sale brought in $13 million. About $5 million went to resolve debt and about $7.8 fed the general fund.

The deal enabled the city to balance its budget, McLean said.

Councilman Tom Waniewski, who opposed hiring the lobbying firm last year, said he would expect the firm to perform its job well but that doesn’t change his original contention.

“We elect state representatives; aren’t they supposed to be lobbying on our behalf down there?”

Waniewski also took issue with the difficulties encountered in reaching the lobbying firm as well as acquiring basic information about what the group has accomplished. He said he asked for an update from the city in January and hadn’t received anything until recently. He said he called Sean P. Dunn & Associates last week and is still waiting for a return call.

McLean said he talks to the lobbyists often — depending on the issue at hand he might converse with them several times a week. Dunn said legislators are the strongest lobbyists because they have the votes, but that these elected officials and their small staffs are inundated with a gamut of issues. Private lobbying firms can narrow their focus to a particular bill or interest, he said.

“Their whole world is a constant kind of drinking from a fire hose so they’re very willing to help the city and their region, but the role we often fill is helping the city as our client efficiently deal with them,” Dunn said. McLean added that representatives and state senators do not cover just the city; the city might be only a portion of their constituency.

“It would be unfair of us to ask [State Rep.] Teresa Fedor (D-47) to stop representing everyone else and just represent us,” he said. “She couldn’t do it and quite frankly she shouldn’t do it.”

The city has a three-year contract with Sean P. Dunn & Associates but the deal will be up for renewal in a couple of months. McLean seeks to renew the contract.

Dunn, Dodge and Angel said they’re eyeing a fund for local governments called the Local Government Innovation Fund. The firm aims to help the city apply for a loan or grant that encourages local governments to collaborate with each other. Whatever projects they might seek are still in the draft stages, the firm said.

Churches, agencies partner to develop South Toledo

By
Caitlin McGlade
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Christian van Rafelghem and Randi Nosen, University of Toledo students, collect information on a property in South Toledo. Toledo Free Press photo by Caitlin McGlade.

A kid, sunken into clothes at least three sizes too large, walked alone Saturday morning down an alley between two houses that leaned painfully toward the earth.

Just up the block, groups of volunteers holding clipboards canvassed his South Toledo neighborhood, logging to what extent gutters, paint, foundations, windows and other furnishings needed help.

Pastor David Kaiser, who runs the South Toledo Community Center at the New Kingdom Baptist Church on Broadway Street, estimates that at least 1,000 homes in this kid’s neighborhood lie vacant. He said this particularly becomes a problem when you have a derelict house, like one on Crittenden Avenue, marked too dangerous for firefighters to enter if it catches fire sandwiched between two homes in which families live. Or when you have a little girl living in a house on Thomas Street surrounded by abandoned homes now frequented by drug peddlers and prostitutes.

Millions of federal, state and local dollars are available that could help repair the salvageable houses and demolish the goners. But organizers need hard data to bring those dollars here.

The volunteers holding clipboards took the first step in that direction on March 24. Most of them were University of Toledo students, deployed by 1Matters, Neighborhood Housing Services (NHS)/NeighborWorks, the South Toledo Community Center and other players.

The next piece will fall into place this summer, when volunteers will go door to door to interview residents about their community’s needs. Data will then be compiled and shipped off to secure loans and grants. The goal is to know exactly what needs fixed and what needs torn down. A similar program has already worked in another Toledo neighborhood.

NHS/NeighborWorks conducted surveys in the Birmingham neighborhood and procured a quarter of a million dollars in low interest loans for low-income families to fix up their homes. NeighborWorks America awarded the grants last fall, said Bob Krompak, an economic development specialist with NHS/Neighborworks.

“This neighborhood needs a lot of love and a lot of help but there are still a lot of viable businesses,” Krompak said.

Neglect

Lourdes Santiago, director of the city’s department of neighborhoods, said the area has been neglected for too long.

Evidence is in the rows of cracked foundations, the peeling paint, the duct tape and plastic trash bags that pretend to be window panes. Or it’s in the boarded-up doorways, signs aggressively mandating “KEEP OUT” and the graveyards for old toys laid to rest among trash heaps and corroded metal fencing.

There is a cavernous hole in the concrete at the end of the alley that leads from Kaiser’s church. A single orange barrel, contorted and scuffed, crouches near the hole’s edge. Kaiser wonders if it’s only a matter of time before a child climbs in to explore and gets stuck somewhere in the netherworld beneath the street.

Folks living on the 600 and 500 blocks of Walbridge Avenue — the few who haven’t left or been foreclosed upon — had grown accustomed to the half-demolished Jones Jr. High building off Broadway Street. Its skeleton stood for more than a year before demolition picked up again just within the past couple of months. Down the road, a gutted elementary school on Newbury Street had become part of the landscape up until just a few weeks ago. Now the structure is completely gone, the land covered with a smooth coat of dirt.

Change in scenery

Santiago stood up before a group of South Toledo residents during a community meeting March 27 and told them things are soon to change.

“Rather than a neighborhood that has been neglected, you are now a neighborhood that is at the top of the list,” she said. The gaping pit that was once Jones Jr. High, for example, will soon be open land. Santiago said Toledo Public Schools is giving the city first dibs on the property. And the city’s looking to turn that space into a commercial garden, she said.

The Lucas County Land Bank, which seeks to remove blight by acquiring vacant homes and slating them for demolition, is working on a few properties in South Toledo. But the projects are about to multiply. The land bank is eyeing $5 million to $10 million that the area could secure because of mortgage settlements through the attorney general’s office.

The grant program might allow the agency to tear down between 1,000 and 1,200 properties across the city over a two year period. To put that in perspective, the City of Toledo tears down about 300 to 400 properties a year, said David Mann, the executive director of the land bank.

One of the bank’s biggest challenges is finding fresh data, so programs like the South Toledo housing survey help direct the agency to problem areas, Mann said. Kaiser and his Broadway Corridor Coalition, a group of churches, government agencies, individuals and ministries, seek to have one house built for every two taken down.

Mann said demolition is going to be the priority for removing blight.

“We certainly have more houses than we need in the City of Toledo,” Mann said. “The reason we have a lot of abandoned houses is not just because of the housing crisis — we have a lot of folks who have moved from Toledo and moved out to the suburbs.”

Toledo enjoyed population growth from 1940 until 1970, reaching about 383,800. But by the 1980 census, population had declined to 354,635. The trend continued; 287,208 residents were recorded in the 2010 census. Just 10 years prior, the census had recorded 313,619.

Not the End

So do all of these upcoming demolitions mean job opportunities? That’s Kaiser’s goal. His church serves free breakfast a couple times a week.

Starting at 8 a.m., prostitutes, ex-cons and pimps are among those gathering around hot trays full of bacon and eggs. They are tranquil and silent as they eat. Some share tables and others sit alone. They wear anything from dense cloaks to short shorts.

Many of them sleep outside or in abandoned houses because they don’t have jobs. The trouble is that many of them can’t get jobs. Their criminal records doom their job applications to the trash pile.
Kaiser wants to find them work. He knows many of them have construction backgrounds. So he aims to either get these people hooked up with contractors or form a contracting organization that could be used for upcoming demolitions.

Kaiser told the attendees at his community meeting that he’s consciously not calling South Toledo the “South End” anymore.

Because this, he said, is not the end.

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