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Missing data card mystery delays election results

By
Danielle Stanton
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Tallying of primary election results in Lucas County was delayed for hours May 6 in part due to several misplaced data cards that were believed to contain votes.

Jon Stainbrook

Jon Stainbrook

Tabulation stalled at 72 percent of votes counted when it was discovered the cards were missing and did not resume for hours. After three hours of searching, a total of seven missing cards were located in a warehouse where the voting machines are kept, said Lucas County Board of Elections (BOE) member Jon Stainbrook. Five were initially found and then two later in the night, he said.

Ron Rothenbuhler, chairman of the BOE, blamed poor inventory control and worker oversight for the issues.

“We look at inventory control. We have part-time workers — not constant personnel. We certainly have some issues,” Rothenbuhler said. “The [missing cards] did delay the election.”

Officials also suspected some of the missing data cards that contained ballot information had been created May 7 rather than in April when the machines were tested, which would suggest dishonesty by personnel. It’s still not clear who might have created fake cards to replace the missing ones and why, Stainbrook said.

The Ohio Secretary of State’s office is investigating.

“The only way the people are going to have faith in this process is to say I feel safe with this election,” Stainbrook said. “I will not feel safe until all these questions are answered.”

The tension at the Early Vote Center late May 6 was like courtroom drama. Stainbrook accused BOE Director Gina Kaczala of lying to the media. Kaczala initially told reporters there were no missing data cards and then changed her statement.

“It’s unconscionable to me that Gina Kaczala, the director, would blatantly lie to the media to say that all cards were accounted for and knew there were five missing,” Stainbrook said.

Kaczala was unable to be reached for comment.

An employee was called in to answer questions about the allegedly forged cards. The employee, whose name was unavailable, reported that the cards were legitimate and was later taken into a separate room with two Lucas County Sheriff’s deputies. Stainbrook threatened prosecution.

The elections board convened three times over the night of May 6 and into early May 7 to officiate several ballots that were damaged or unclear.

Results of the District 2 Toledo City Council race, which was conducted by paper ballot, were not released until about 4 a.m., with incumbent Matt Cherry the clear winner with 40 percent of the vote from a lukewarm turnout.

The race was done using paper ballots because its candidate filing deadline was too late to include it on the electronic ballot, said BOE Deputy Director Dan DeAngelis. But many voters were unaware of this, leading to confusion.

Cherry, a Sheet Metals Workers’ union member, received 1,823 votes, taking the seat by a margin of 303 votes over independent Marcia Helman. Helman won 33 percent of the vote; Bob Vasquez earned 17 percent; and Joe Celusta came in last with 9 percent.

Cherry, who was confident of a win but wary of low voter turnout, said he felt tired but excited about retaining the Council seat he was appointed to in January after it was vacated by Mayor D. Michael Collins.

“Obviously, I’m very excited,” Cherry said early May 7. “I feel the voters of District 2 made a good decision and I’m going to prove that to them. Today, we have a Council meeting. I’m ready to show them I’m there for them and I’m ready to commit and do for them.”

Cherry said he was disappointed in the snafu at polling headquarters.

Bill Delaney, a retired Toledo business owner, is challenging incumbent Jon Stainbrook for the District 11 Republican state central committee seat. Toledo Free Press Photo by Joseph Herr

Bill Delaney, a retired Toledo business owner, is challenging incumbent Jon Stainbrook for the District 11 Republican state central committee seat. Toledo Free Press Photo by Joseph Herr

“I hope for future elections we have to get that back together. It looked like a circus sometimes down there and we have to move to stop that for sure,” he said.

He said he was ready to get down to business by working with Collins on issues, including Toledo’s pothole problem and the vacant Southwyck property.

“I’m going to see what we can do with Southwyck and I’m working with the mayor and I’m doing what I can,” Cherry said.

Incumbent Republican Barbara Sears defeated Scott Allegrini in the race for District 47 state representative. Sears, who had 59 percent of the vote, could not be reached for comment.

Allegrini ran on repealing the Affordable Care Act and his public role as co-founder of the conservative group Children of Liberty.

“I think Barbara is a good woman,” Allegrini said shortly before polls closed. “And she’s been a good representative. I just disagree with a couple issues. It’s time to put my money where my mouth is and run. That is what started it and it’s been a heck of an adventure.”

Republican Kevin Haddad will face incumbent Democrat Carol Contrada in the Lucas County Commissioners race in the fall. Republican Richard May will challenge incumbent Democrat Marcy Kaptur for U.S. House District 9.

Bill Delaney and Meghan Gallagher will represent District 11 on the Republican state central committee and Mark Wagoner and Dee Talmage will represent District 2. Delaney defeated incumbent Stainbrook. Gallagher, Wagoner and Talmage all retained their seats.

Delaney told Toledo Free Press before the election that he would like to see more communication between local conservative organizations, including Republicans, Libertarians and the tea party.

“We’ve got to draw all these ideologies into one big R because we’re not going to get anyplace being divided,” Delaney said. “There’s too much division. I want to get all these people together in one group. You’ve got to have somewhere where you can talk about it. Right now there’s no talking going on. We have got to form a better organization.”

Issue 1 was approved with 65 percent of the statewide vote. The issue asked voters to approve a constitutional amendment authorizing the borrowing of $1.875 billion to help finance roads, bridges, sewer, drinking water and solid waste projects.

Voters rejected school levies in Sylvania and Bedford. The Northwood school levy passed.

Rossford voters approved levies for city improvements, the fire department and recreation by wide margins.

Only about 10 percent of eligible Lucas County voters showed up at the polls.

Miller: Let it go … and go … and go

By
Toledo Free Press
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Literature, theater and film can transport your mind and spirit to other realms and induce intense intellectual engagement, but music is the art form that most effectively grips emotions.

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Not many people recite poetry or novel passages in the shower or car, but a song stuck in the head can melt inhibitions and inspire headbanging under the water and on the highway. Not many of us have been caught acting out scenes from our favorite movies, but lots of us have been caught singing and bopping in the car, cubicle or classroom.

I remember one summer day walking around our duplex in Walbridge singing Roger Miller’s “King of the Road” with lusty off-key abandon. As I came around the corner, I faced our neighbor family looking at me with bemused smiles. Too lost in my melody to be appropriately embarrassed, I took a deep breath and kept singing about trailers for sale and rent, ignoring the friendly laughter as it faded behind me.

Many people had far worse childhoods than I did, but mine had its share of abusive and scary moments, which I often dealt with by hiding under headphones and listening to music for hours at a time.

There used to be a Seligman Brothers record store on Sylvania near Douglas, and they specialized in stocking jukeboxes.

When the records returned from the bars, sometimes worn gray in the grooves from thousands of spins, the store would sell them for a quarter. I could walk in there with $2 or $3, spend an hour browsing and walk home with a dozen fairly recent 45s.

When things got nasty or heated on the homefront, I could close the door to my room, put on the huge airplane landing strip headphones held together with duct tape and play record after record, until every note and vocal nuance was etched on my brain. I spent more time with Bob Seger, Billy Joel and The Police in those days than I did with the in-name-only parents who expressed themselves through absence or aggression.

I did not always sing to the music, but I remember one day belting out the drama of — don’t ask me why — “Don’t Cry Out Loud” by Melissa Manchester as it played over the WOHO airwaves. One minute I was belting out the story of how baby cried the day the circus came to town, and the next minute my father was crashing through the door, yelling at me about singing too loud. He tried to pull the headphones from the Realistic stereo but knocked it off the bookshelf to the floor, where its fake wood panel case cracked, silencing it forever and me temporarily.

You may have heard the quote about parenting that cautions kids may not remember what you do or remember what you say, but they will forever remember how you make them feel. The details of that afternoon are lost to me, but that feeling of humiliation and embarrassment — which I did not feel at all in front of neighbors but felt drowned in as the target of my old man’s wrath — associated itself with singing out loud for far too many years. One of my life’s great pleasures was spoiled, and while I got over it eventually, I do not remember giving any more impromptu concerts.

So when my 6-year-old son Sean walks around the house or plays in the backyard, singing “Let It Go” from the movie “Frozen” at the top of his little lungs, I may be tempted to hand him a wad of taffy to keep him silent, but I refrain from repeating his grandfather’s mistake.

“Let It Go” is the elementary school national anthem, heard anywhere there are children. I do not know what subliminal commands are buried in the music or the film’s images, but they are powerful mojo. Sean knows every line to the song, and sings it with classmates and family members on a seemingly perpetual, ceaseless, uninterrupted, endless, repeating loop that keeps going on and on and over and over and doesn’t stop and continues and repeats and starts again and refreshes and keeps going, forever and ever, amen.

It’s maddening, like a low, throbbing toothache. But he is so sweet and happy when he sings it; I may shush his volume when it gets to 11, but with Manchester over my shoulder, I never want to make him feel bad about singing or want him to associate such a happy expression with parental consternation. I hope that means that while the beat goes on, the generational beatdowns don’t have to.

Michael S. Miller is editor in chief of Toledo Free Press and news director of Newsradio 1370 WSPD. Email him at [email protected].

Pounds: BOE SOS

By
Tom Pounds
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Despite Ohio Secretary of State oversight and investigations, the Lucas County Board of Elections (BOE) has proven itself to be incapable of smoothly running even a low-turnout primary election.

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The May 6 election was marked by confusion over paper ballots in District 2, missing data cards, delayed results and, as usual, personal rancor and conflict among BOE members. The removal of former Director Meghan Gallagher seems to have made little difference; it is remarkable that a primary election that draws less than 10 percent participation could stumble so badly.

The contention and Keystone Cop antics that have characterized BOE member Jon Stainbrook’s tenure have long since ceased to be funny. The recent hearings conducted by the Secretary of State have done nothing to alleviate the impression that the most sacred of democratic processes is unprotected and vulnerable to mishaps.

There were not many surprises in the election. Incumbent Matt Cherry retained his District 2 Toledo City Council seat over strong candidates Marcia Helman and Bob Vasquez. In the 47th District Ohio House of Representatives race, incumbent Barbara Sears bested challenger Scott Allegrini. Kudos to Allegrini for moving from activist to candidate and we hope to see him run again in the future.

In the Republican state central committee race for the male representative in the 11th Senate District, Bill Delaney defeated county Republican Chairman Stainbrook, a positive and encouraging development, but ousted BOE Director Gallagher kept her committee seat over Diana Skaff.

The Secretary of State is clearly aware of the Lucas County BOE’s shortcomings and is taking steps to document its foibles. But it will take more than investigation and discussion to clean up the mess; it will take a clean sweep of the BOE to give Lucas County voters, as few of them as there are, confidence in the election process.

Perhaps a clean start and renewed faith in the process will lead to increased participation from candidates and voters.

Thomas F. Pounds is president and publisher of Toledo Free Press. Contact him at [email protected].

TFD marks 30 years of women fighting fires in Toledo

By
Jeff
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Barb Aldrich, Komako Goolsby, and Kim Hood are Toledo firefighters. Thirty years ago men and women shared restrooms and dormitories at the stations. Toledo Free Press photo by Michael Nemeth.

The recent Women of Courage event celebrated 30 years of female firefighters in Toledo, from the pioneering women of the Class of 1984 to those who graduated with the latest Toledo Fire & Rescue Department (TFD) class this winter.

As a member of the first TFD class to include women, Barb Aldrich, 59, can look back on her 30-year career with pride. Aldrich and her female classmates persevered through years of skepticism, scrutiny and discrimination to win over most of their co-workers in the male-dominated profession. She is the last of the nine women from her class still on the line.

“When we first came on, there was a lot of animosity,” Aldrich said. “They were always bringing people out to see that we could do the job and check what we were doing. Every little thing was scrutinized. That was pretty much to be expected, but I was not prepared for the animosity. I was a little taken back because I’d worked for years with guys. To me it was no big deal.”

Barb Aldrich, Komako Goolsby, and Kim Hood are Toledo firefighters. Thirty years ago men and women shared restrooms and dormitories at the stations. Toledo Free Press photo by Michael Nemeth.

Aldrich, whose father was a volunteer firefighter, joined TFD after 10 years as a police officer, EMT and paramedic in her hometown of Gibsonburg.

In the early years, men and women didn’t have separate sleeping or restroom facilities. Firefighters’ wives would stop by to size up the female firefighters, both to check out potential competition and make sure their husbands’ safety wouldn’t be compromised at a fire, she said.

“[They’d be wondering], ‘Can she get my husband out of a fire?’ I was like, ‘Can your husband get me out of a fire?’” said the 6-foot-tall Aldrich.

One day, Aldrich came to work to find her hydrant wrench painted pink.

“That actually really helped me out because I never lost that pink hydrant wrench in the grass at night and there was not a company in this city that was going to steal that wrench, so they saved me a lot of trouble,” Aldrich said.

After one male firefighter refused to acknowledge her, Aldrich followed him around until she convinced him she was serious about learning the job.

“He ended up taking over all my drills and training. He taught me so much that I use even today and we stayed friends to the end,” she said.

Aldrich said it took three or four years before she started feeling a shift toward acceptance from a majority of male co-workers, although some still aren’t convinced women belong in fire service.

“This isn’t a job; it’s a career and it becomes a way of life. You have to have a drive inside you that says, ‘I can do this,’” Aldrich said. “There are guys today on the job who think women don’t belong in the fire service, but you can go to any job and find that same attitude. I don’t worry about them. We have just as many men who support us and let us do our jobs as we have been trained to do. When we put our gear on and we’re in that fire, you don’t know who’s who. All that matters is if you can perform at the scene.”

‘Milestone day’

Mayor D. Michael Collins, a retired Toledo police officer, spoke at the May 3 Women of Courage event, calling it a “milestone day.” May 11 is the 30th anniversary of TFD’s Class of 1984’s graduation. Members include many of the department’s current top brass, including Chief Luis Santiago, Assistant Chief Phillip Cervantes, Deputy Chief Thomas Jaksetic, Battalion Chief Gerald Takats and Battalion Chief Dennis Facer.

Collins graduated with the 1973 Toledo Police Academy class, the first to include a woman with the male-equivalent title of police officer rather than police matron, he said.

“I’m very proud to say I happen to be the mayor of a city that recognizes the importance in the profession that it is not gender-biased, that women play a vital role,” Collins said.

Robert Schwanzl, retired TFD assistant chief and board president for the Toledo Firefighters Museum, said then-Chief William Winkle decided in 1982 to start recruiting women before the department was court-mandated as it had been for minority firefighters.

In 1983, a new agility test called FEAT — First Encounter Acceptance Test — was developed that is still used today. Rather than pushups, situps, pullups and vertical jumps, the test measures ability to stretch and roll hoses, chop holes in roofs, lift heavy objects and other skills a firefighter actually uses on the job,  Schwanzl said. Both men and women are measured by the same standard.

Of the department’s 526 firefighters, 56 are women, including 48 white women, four Hispanic women and three black women. The highest-ranking female is Battalion Chief Sally Glombowski. TFD has 347 white male firefighters, 77 black male firefighters and 43 Hispanic male firefighters.

The nine women in the 1984 class were Aldrich, Christine Armstrong, Kathryn Balogh Mayer, Sheila Layson, Deborah Leonard, Dorothy Lopez, Geraldine McCalland, Rebecca Williams and Jennifer Wilson. One of the women and two men didn’t graduate; another woman was cut along with two men during the probationary period,  Schwanzl said.

Wilson’s firefighting career was cut short in 1994 when she stopped to help at the scene of an injury accident while off-duty and was struck by a drunken driver. She now works as a dispatcher.

“This is my family,” Wilson said. “It’s the best career you can ever want to have.”

Schwanzl, who was in charge of training for the Class of 1984, said it took time for many firefighters to get used to women on the job.

“Change is something a lot of people really don’t like and a lot of people didn’t really like the idea they were going to have women on the Toledo Fire & Rescue Department, but we changed that. Actually it was the women we hired who changed that. They made it work. Pioneers are truly what these women were,” he said.

Barb Aldrich, Komako Goolsby and Kim Hood are Toledo firefighters. Thirty years ago men and women shared restrooms and dormitories at the stations. Toledo Free Press photo and cover photo illustration by Michael Nemeth

Class of 1984 member Tim Ross, still a TFD firefighter, said at first he didn’t realize the significance of having female classmates.

“That’s all I knew. That’s who we came in with. We saw them every day,” Ross said. “When we got on the line that’s when I was acutely aware this was something major, because it was the topic of conversation in so many engine houses.

“There was a lot of fear, there was a lot of misunderstanding, a lot of things they had to go through,” Ross said. “I’m proud to say they stuck through, they persevered, they endured a lot and they did it with class. We’ve come a long way, but we have a long way to go.

“Being pro-women doesn’t mean you’re anti-man. It means you celebrate women and what they’ve done. I think that’s so important. They’ve brought so much to the table. Why would you not want to celebrate this?”

Class of 1984 member Mark McBee, also still a TFD firefighter, said the department went through a lot of “growing pains” after bringing women into the department.

“A lot of the rhetoric you hear — that they can’t do the job, can’t do this, can’t do that — that was the same thing they said about African-Americans coming on the job,” said McBee, who is black. “The truth of the matter is there’s a lot of women on the job stronger than the average guy on the job.”

The first African-American male firefighters were appointed in the 1890s, said TFD Public Information Officer Matthew Hertzfeld.

“I’d like to see more people of color on the department,” McBee said. “I’m an advocate for minorities — black and brown and women, especially women of color.”

Father’s daughter

Lt. Kevin Goolsby has four sons, but it was his only daughter Komako who followed in his footsteps by joining TFD with the Class of 2006.

Goolsby, 38, is one of TFD’s three black female firefighters. She thinks part of the reason there are so few black women is the lack of role models. She’s trying to change that by doing community presentations and leading tours at the Toledo Firefighters Museum.

It doesn’t help that many people refer to firefighters as firemen, a pet peeve of Goolsby’s.

“I’m not a fireman. I’m a firefighter,” Goolsby said. “Even in books, there are men with fire helmets, men on fire trucks. We want to change that and through these small efforts I believe it will change. … [Girls] have to see us to want to do it and to want to be a part of it.”

Goolsby and her father were assigned to the same station and occasionally went on calls together. He retired last year after 31 years with TFD.

“It was awesome,” Goolsby said of working together. “Indescribable.”

Event organizers developed Women of Courage patches with silver sitching to be worn by female firefighters as well as one with plain stitching for anyone as a fundraiser for Local 92 and Toledo Firefighters Museum.

Recalling a South Toledo fire in which a woman died after being pulled from the house, Goolsby, a trained surgical tech, said one of the toughest lessons she had to learn is she can’t save everyone.

“I was just beside myself,” Goolsby said. “I thought, ‘Wow, as fast as we got here and as fast as we got in that house, we couldn’t save her.’ We’re talking eight to nine minutes. So I beat myself up pretty bad about it.

“But the chief said something really important to me. He said, ‘It’s not your job to save that lady. Her life is out of your hands.’ … Now every run we go on, I look at it like it is my job to do my job, but I am not God. I can’t save everybody. And that takes some getting used to, because as firefighters, that’s all we want to do.”

Because a woman’s success or failure tends to reflect on all the other women on the job, Goolsby said many female firefighters feel pressure to be perfect.

“[Aldrich] would tell me, ‘It’s not good enough for you to get a 70 [percent], just because 70 is all you need to pass. You, as a female, need to make sure you get a 95,’” Goolsby said. “That way you can never be questioned.”

Goolsby said her father’s reputation helped her to some extent.

“Just by his reputation, the guys gave me a chance,” Goolsby said. “But one thing my father instilled in me as a little girl, whether I became a firefighter or not, is you have nothing to prove, only to yourself.”

Women of Courage

Women of Courage organizers said the group’s focus is on women, but celebrates all people of courage.

“We are all courageous in our own way, but firefighters take it in a different direction,” said Kim Hood, a TFD firefighter since 1996. “It takes a very special personality to become a firefighter.”

Another organizer, Gina Shubeta, a TFD firefighter since 2001, said the main goal is to “recognize diversity and embrace equality.”

“We are going to continue to recognize the importance of women, diversity and equality on our department to bring forth greater unity amongst members to better serve the citizens of Toledo,” Shubeta said. “We recognize that there will still be challenges and some of the many goals will be to educate and move forward into a direction of harmony with all our brothers and sisters.”

The group is selling Women of Courage T-shirts for $15 and patches for $10. Funds raised will benefit the Toledo Firefighters Local 92 Charities and the Toledo Firefighters Museum. To order, email [email protected].

Aldrich, who plans to retire next year, said she still loves the job.

“It’s been one heck of a ride. There’s been ups and downs but it’s been a great ride for 30 years and I’ve met a lot of wonderful people,” she said. “Bumps in the road only make us stronger. We’re here and we’re here to stay.”

Beard: Godzilla returns May 16

By
Jim Beard
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Coming May 16: “Godzilla.” Photo courtesy of Warner Bros. Pictures.

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Godzilla, that radioactive remnant of man’s folly with nuclear destruction, is facing down a bomb. The giant lizard’s newest American film foray, out May 16, faces not only all the challenges within its storyline, but also the ill-will generated by his disastrous first attempt to conquer America.

The producers of “Godzilla,” this time from Warner Bros., have an uphill battle to win over American audiences after the 1998 Columbia TriStar bomb of a film, but advance trailers seem to indicate they got it right. The previous flick offered a Godzilla that didn’t much resemble its famous Japanese progenitor, but today’s American monster sports features that echo the original while endowing the look with modern sensibilities. Add to that hints of another creature to battle the Tokyo Titan and star Bryan Cranston, hot off “Breaking Bad,” and we may be able to put Matthew Broderick and his baby Godzillas behind us forever.

Born in Toho Pictures’ 1954 “Gojira,” the rampaging reptile soon became a perennial box office player and enjoyed a long string of films in his native Japan.

Up until the 1990s, Godzilla films made their way to the U.S. to become popular popcorn programmers and fodder for afternoon TV film festivals. Toho continued the series into the new millennium, but American audiences grew too sophisticated and enamored with CGI special effects to embrace men in rubber suits crushing miniature cityscapes.

Today, Godzilla’s screen adventures are considered kitsch of the highest — or lowest — order, so the new movie needs to sweep away that taint and deliver something along the lines of the 1954 original: a serious treatise on the dangers of playing God with nature.

Can they do it? Recent giant monster films such as “Cloverfield” and “Pacific Rim” didn’t exactly set theaters on fire, but then again, this is Godzilla. The Granddaddy of ’em all. The Big G. The Terror of the East. If he can’t enthrall America, no one can.

Baumhower: Three against the world

By
Jeremy Baumhower
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I am not a jealous man. I have been blessed to possess both an excessive amount of self-confidence and an unjustified shortage of insecurities. That even looked bad when I typed it. For the most part, these personality flaws prevent me the feeling and dealing with the crazy emotion of jealousy.

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My one exception, my visual kryptonite, my Achilles heel, the one sight my eyes find that fill my heart with the feeling of jealousy and envy…. is when I see a young couple pushing their baby in a stroller.

Not what you thought it would be, was it?

There is something about watching two younger people push a stroller at the mall or a red shopping cart at a Target, loaded with their new offspring, that creates this sadness in my heart. It doesn’t make me cry, nor wear a frown, it simply reminds me of a time that was filled with pure happiness and hope.

These people who are pushing babies probably have no idea why a grown man with four kids would be envious. Their faces normally look tired from the lack of sleep or the constant chasing of the baby’s first steps. Their shirts tend to feature at least one stain from a recent spit up or it’s impromptu use as a Kleenex. The hair and or makeup standards for being seen in public have greatly diminished. A new list of priorities naturally occur and vanity seems to lose it importance.

These are not the same people they once were, or BC (Before Child). The miracle of life has changed them. The one common denominator I have found in all of these lesser-experienced parents pushing a stroller is they act as a team. They have taken smaller trips, figured out what has and what hasn’t worked. The trip to the mall is a big deal, going to grandmas was the minor leagues. They have done the work and have their parental routine down. They know who puts the child in the baby seat, what items they need to carry in a diaper bag, how the stroller folds up or gets big. They know what to do in case of dirty diaper or if the baby’s pacifier hits the ground. You are not a parent until you use your mouth as an emergency wash station for a dirtied binky.

Mommy and Daddy warriors who are on their first, possibly second tour of crazy or the insanity of parenthood, use the stroller as their family’s personal tank; A vehicle designed to carry and protect their most beloved items, a baby, and the things that keep a baby from crying. They normally push the four-wheel-mall-equipped vessel with the zest of two people not afraid of conquering the world. If they can pack up Junior and walk him around the Franklin Park mall, what can’t they do?

It’s that very hubris that makes me jealous. The mentality of three against the world. I am envious because these young souls are filled with dreams of what lies ahead and who their child could become. If the pregnancy was planned or not, there is always a small window of time filled with hope.

The love one feels with a younger or newborn child can often mask issues needing to be addressed to achieve these new visions of a great life together.

As someone who squandered these moments and the very dreams that accompany them, I wanted to offer you some tips for success as you and your stroller tackle the world together.

  • You are a team, act like one: Take turns changing diapers and getting up for midnight feedings; even if one parent is working and the other is not, it’s a small gesture that demonstrates that you are in this battle of raising a child together.
  • Date nights and trustworthy babysitters are essential: As your relationship drastically changed with the addition of this baby, so has the dynamics of you as a couple. You must find time to remind yourselves of how and why that baby happened. I know money can be tight, but the best date nights are free.
  • Never allow words of love to drown your heart: Express anything from an unexpected “I love you”, a thank you to a compliment. Every parent of a young child is tired but that’s not an excuse. These randoms thoughts can make an exhausted soul breathe new life. The art of silence becomes habitual and is a leading killer of marriages. If you hold onto your words today, a tomorrow may never happen.

When my son was born, a co-worker and close friend of mine visited us in the hospital. He walked in, handed my now ex-wife a card and gift, shook my hand and whispered the words “ life is no longer about you” into my ear. He smirked, nodded and walked out of the room, leaving me with the beautiful mental grenade of wisdom he just unexpectedly dropped. I had no idea of how true his words were and still are, until it was too late.

I am sorry it took a divorce and a 50% reduction in time I get to spend with my children, to finally understand their meaning.

Time is the most valuable thing in our lives, there is no machine that grants “do-overs”. Make every minute with your new family count and you’ll have an endless supply of smiles, laughter and happiness; I promise.

For those of you who are currently pushing a stroller together … I am jealous. The future and world can be yours if you tackle it together. Now don’t f–k it up.

 

Annual Harp Gathering planned for May 15-18

By
Chase Will
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From May 15-18, Denise and Michael Grupp-Verbon will host the seventh annual Harp Gathering at the Sauder Heritage Inn. The event will include three concerts, 18 workshops and several vendors selling instruments/accessories.

“We have people who’ve been to the festival a few times and others who come every year. A lot of people sign up for next year before they even leave, which is a testament to how much they love it,” Denise said.

The couple will be performing, along with a roster of national artists. Performers and presenters include Maeve Gilchrist (Boston, Massachusetts), Cynthia Shelhart (Chesterton, Indiana), Frank Voltz (Winston-Salem, North Carolina), Aryeh Frankfurter (San Francisco, California) and Lisa Lynne (San Francisco, California).

“The Harp Gathering is a great way to go forth with an instrument that should really be around for all time,” said Lynne, a Celtic harpist who’s played at the event four times and has sold a million CDs worldwide.

“They really do a nice job of putting together the classes. Some conferences are so big you have a lot of trouble deciding what you want to do,” she added. “Here it’s a little more manageable, and you have time to absorb what you just learned and get to know everybody.”

“We also have different categories of workshops each year. This year we even have a workshop on how to play the ukulele,” Denise said. “Lisa’s also doing a workshop about going onstage and not being nervous, called ‘Playing Live and Butterflies.’”

Other workshops include The Organized Harpist and Intro to Improvisation.

One registrant will win a model HG-30 harp by Lewis Creek Instruments in the annual “Harp Hunt and Gathering” drawing.

Denise said she started playing harp in fifth grade when she had a choice between joining choir or band, and she’s been passionate about it ever since. Her inspiration for the Harp Gathering comes from the joy of meeting other harpists and providing an environment for shared creativity.

“The biggest challenge is finding new ways to get the word out to harpists and to communicate with people who might want to come to the concerts,” she said. “There’s a lot of camaraderie among artists hanging out together and sharing ideas. I like the idea of it being more of a retreat than a convention.”

The Sauder Village Inn is located at 22611 State Route 2 in Archbold.

The concerts are open to the public, and tickets are available in advance or at the door for $15. For  more information, call (419) 478-4177.

Intimacy and marriage

By
Sid Kelly
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Last week on “The Morning Rush” we had a very interesting discussion with one of our listeners about a topic often avoided: How much intimacy should a marriage contain?

Sara Hegarty had reported a story during our entertainment news feature that featured Tori Spelling’s new show, “True Tori.” Tori’s husband, Dean McDermott, told the cameras that he didn’t think having relations with his wife every two weeks was often enough.

After we discussed this, we got a call from a guy named Rich. He claimed that he and his wife have a contract that specifies how often they have sex. It turns out that his wife has to engage him every 48 hours. If she doesn’t, he’s allowed to step out on his marriage and get fulfillment elsewhere. Before you ask, yes, it does work both ways, and they’ve been married for three years.

Our phones blew up!

The amazing thing about this was there were people that thought it was the best idea since the concept of marriage, and others who felt it was the dumbest idea they’d ever heard. The basic consensus was Rich’s wife, Alli, was insecure.

I wanted to bring this whole concept full circle and get Rich’s wife on the phone with us. She wasn’t available that morning, but after the weekend, and some off-air discussion, we were able to speak with Alli.

I have to tell you, I think I’m OK with the idea. Here’s why:

She knew what she was getting into. After having the opportunity to speak with both Rich and Alli, it was clear that Rich made it known what he expected out of her if they got married. Alli made it obvious that she understood what Rich was asking for. She decided that he was worth the sacrifice, so she agreed.

She could have said no. A lot of people were jumping on Rich for being such a “pig,” but I don’t think that’s what he was doing at all. He said he knew how often he wanted it, and after talking to his fiancée, she was aware as well. She clearly knew she could have said no, but the relationship was (is) perfect.

Here’s the problem I’m seeing. We’re all too quick to pass judgment on other people. We always think we know what’s best for them, but in the end, we can’t even determine what’s best for ourselves. Who cares if this guy wants to have sex with his wife every 48 hours? Is it illegal to expect someone to willingly enter an agreement with you if they know exactly what they’re getting into, and have the opportunity to disagree? No … if anything it’s the way this is supposed to happen.

Too many people are willing to look at this situation and think, “Something has to be wrong with this guy (or this girl) for this to happen.” Does there? Just because it’s not something you would do doesn’t mean it’s not something another person can’t get into.

If you haven’t run into this problem, let’s review now. There are going to be times in your life where you hear someone is doing something you wouldn’t do. Just because you wouldn’t do it doesn’t mean they shouldn’t. I can’t understand why someone would want to run to exercise, but that doesn’t mean I don’t think it’s a good way to stay in shape.

As I attempt to wrap this column up in a nice little package for you, I leave you with these words of wisdom: There doesn’t have to be something wrong with someone just because they are doing something you’re not cool with.

Sid Kelly is host of “The Morning Rush,” weekday mornings on 92.5 KISS FM.

Findley Wise takes ‘holistic,’ entrepreneurial approach to wealth management business

By
Toledo Free Press
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From left, Tyler R. McKean, Craig D. Findley, Kenneth J. Wise and Brian J. Funkhouser of Findley Wise. Toledo Free Press photo by Kim Sanchez

Craig Findley and Ken Wise are in the money business. Working out of their Sylvania offices on Monroe Street as Findley Wise Wealth Management, they advise people on how to manage their money and also help people out of their money problems.

From left, Tyler R. McKean, Craig D. Findley, Kenneth J. Wise and Brian J. Funkhouser of Findley Wise. Toledo Free Press photo by Kim Sanchez

They are not the stereotypical money men out to make a quick buck. They see themselves as entrepreneurs in the financial market who not only care about the dollar line but also about their client’s welfare.

“We look at ourselves more as entrepreneur business people,” Wise said. “Our backgrounds give us experience beyond what the typical financial planners have… We can appeal to a client’s needs in a better way because we have life experience in the issues they have been having… You learn through experience. You just have to go through things.”

Findley and Wise said they are able to empathize and understand the money issues a client is experiencing and better help the client solve his or her problems.

Wise called it taking a “holistic” approach. The method is working. The two men have been named to the top 1,200 advisers by Barron’s, a financial publication, in 2010 and 2011 and, again this year, landing them in the top one percent of advisers nationwide. No other firm in Northwest Ohio has as good a rating, they said.

Their willingness and ability to listen to their client’s needs and desires is the secret behind their success, they said. Their aim is not to sell, but to advise and guide. They want people to learn how to be smart with their money, they said.

Ted Markwood is a loyal customer of Findley Wise Wealth Management and has been for 17 years. Findley and Wise oversaw the 401(k) pension plan for Markwood’s international metal stamping company. After he sold his company, they took over managing his personal finances. They couldn’t have done a better job, he said.

“Ken Wise has personally overseen and guided me through some difficult situations,” Markwood said via email. “In short, he has ‘saved my financial life.’ He has been there every step of the way. One of Ken’s greatest strengths is that he can see three of four steps ahead of the present and set a plan in motion to create the most favorable strategy for a successful financial outcome.”

Markwood said that Findley and Wise can successfully put together stocks, bonds and mutual funds, but they also create a portfolio specific to each client’s needs from the present to retirement.

“We create a road map for families,” Wise said. “We’re problem solvers. People dig themselves into financial holes and they know they can come to us and we help them get out it…. We always put our clients first. We say all the time we’re in a great business. We become more successful by helping our clients become more successful….

“The second most emotional thing is your money. A lot of people are kind of mind boggled by the pressure and complexity of it. What we try to do is council people through the process and it’s not a cure-all. It affords them a certain opportunity and a level head. It just works….”

Findley and Wise have a collective 50 years of experience as financial advisers. Findley got his start in the industry when he sold phones for Cellular One to Merrill Lynch. His career started with long hours, he said, and an attempt to find ways to stand out from other investors. His first break came in the early 1990s when he streamlined a way to use stock options for Dana Corporation executives. His investing business took off from there.

Findley said he learned at a young age the value of hard work. He ran a paper route, owned his own T-shirt business in college and worked for his father at his father’s employee benefit consulting company before he started investing.

“I was born in Toledo and my first business was acquiring my neighborhood paper route,” Findley said via email. “I learned at a very young age that hard work and sacrifices were necessary to survive in business.”

Wise was born and raised in West Toledo. He enrolled at the University of Toledo with the intention of becoming an orthodontist. Calling himself an entrepreneur at heart, he left college after two years to pursue several businesses, one a painting company.

From there, Wise decided he wanted to be a financial adviser. He returned to UT to earn his degree in real estate and finance at night while working two day jobs. His first finance job was at Prescott, Ball and Turben Inc. where he did cold calling from a phone book, he said. He then opened his own practice and eventually teamed with Findley to specialize in what they call “comprehensive wealth management.”

They design portfolios but also guide people through the complexities and problems of wealth management. They’ve also worked for such giants as The Walt Disney Corporation, Home Depot and the Coca-Cola Company.

They said they are very “proud” and “blessed” that they’ve earned a national reputation and give much of the credit to the team of partners they work with.

“We’ve surrounded ourselves with an incredible group of people,” Wise said. “We all know that none of us have all the answers.”

Annual Dressel memorial fundraiser set for May 15

By
Chase Will
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On May 15, the fifth annual Remembering Detective Keith Dressel event will take place in the back room of Hooters from 11 a.m. to 10 p.m.

Raffle tickets will be sold at the event, and attendees pick the prize for their ticket to be entered toward.

“This year we have 15-20 items,” said Toledo Police Department Detective Bonnie Weiss. “We have two tickets to Little Big Town at the zoo, four Detroit Tigers tickets, two Cedar Point ride and refresh tickets, and many more.”

“It’s an all-day lunch and dinner kind of affair. It’s a bunch of friends, family and police officers who get together to share stories about Keith and also about Diane Miscannon’s dad, who was also killed in duty,” said Dressel’s mother, Larraine Dressel, who helped organize the event.

Keith Dressel served 14 years with The Toledo Police Department, in which time he became an honored member and was soon promoted to detective in the Vice/Narcotics Special Enforcement Division of TPD. Dressel died Feb. 21, 2007 from a fatal gunshot wound in North Toledo.

The event was founded when the general manager of Hooters approached Weiss about doing something special for TPD.

Proceeds from the event go to the Officer William Miscannon Scholarship Fund in Memory of Keith Dressel.

“The scholarship fund is for Owens Community College, and this year we’re offering a scholarship for $1,800,” Weiss said. “It’s for a male or female in the law enforcement program at Owens. This will be our fourthscholarship given, and this year we upped it from $1,500 because we know the price of everything is going up.”

“It’s an event about camaraderie between the Toledo Police Department and the general public,” Miscannon said. “It’s open to the public, so anyone can come out and join in the fun. Later into the night it’s crazy chaos, people are all around, and I get to hear great stories about my father.”

During the event, Frank Stiles will also be giving away copies of his new book, “City Soldiers,” which tells stories about Toledo police officers and includes chapters dedicated to Miscannon and Dressel.

Hooters is located at 4782 Monroe St.

The public is also invited to the eighth annual Keith Dressel Memorial Ride on July 12. This event is scheduled rain or shine and will also include raffles. Those who preregister are guaranteed a T-shirt.

“The distance has been cut down a bit since last year, but we always drive past the site where Keith was shot and killed,” Dressel said. “We come back and there’s food, people get T-shirts, and it’s another time for remembering. We get a lot of money for the scholarship fund from there too.”

Tickets to the memorial ride are $25 per single rider or $35 per double rider. To preregister, visit www.kdmr812.com.

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