TOLEDO – 12 years ago, nothing could have prepared Idell Watson for the death of her husband after his body rejected a transplant.
“After he passed, I cried for two years,” she said. “When I was around people, I made myself look like I was okay, but I was not okay.”
A few months into her grief, Watson turned to a pain management group for help.
“There was a lot of people,” she said, but the sources of pain were diverse.
“They were coming in talking about their issues with the insurance not working with them or the doctors not giving them the medicine, so I left out of there feeling heavier than I went in,” Watson said. The different sources of pain made Watson want to do something for the people in the group.
“It didn’t help me manage my pain any better,” she said.

Search for community
“Out of my need, I did search the web,” said Watson and she did find groups for widows, “but not in Toledo; not like the group we have.”
Eight years before her husband passed, in 2014, Watson received a vision.
“I had gotten a vision that I was going to lead women,” she said, and after talking with her pastor, she began to lead different groups in church. Ultimately, she said those initiatives fizzled out, but looking back, she sees how the vision was really referring to the community group she started for widows.
There was another widow group that stipulated an amount of time you had to be a widow, and you also had to pay to be a part of it.
“That right there was not the vision that I had,” she said. Instead she set out to make a group that cared for widows like Watson’s sister cared for her.
“‘Everybody has to go back to their lives. I have to go home too,’” said Watson, recounting the words of her sister, who came up from Houston, Texas.
“‘But I can’t leave you sleeping on the couch, I can’t leave you not having a budget and knowing how things will work out.’ So she helped me with all of that.”
Widows Empowered Strengthened & I (W.E.S. & I) had its first meeting in 2016, two years after the death of Wesley James Watson, Idell’s husband.
One of the 12
Every third Saturday of the month, from 1 to 3 p.m., women come to Lott Industries Inc. at 3350 Hill Ave. to eat, share feelings and hear from speakers.

“We brought a financial person in, we brought a lawyer in, we had Marcy [Kaptur] come in and talk about social security,” Watson said.
Beverly Lyles, a good friend of Watson and one of the first attendees of the group, had already grieved her husband’s death for over a decade before W.E.S. & I even existed, but talked about the importance of having a community that can empathize with the death of a spouse.
“When I’m there, I feel really good with the other widows who are going through what I went through and what I’m going through,” Lyles said.
Faith, family and friends Lyles said were integral to the grieving process, but it was also important to have people who had experienced what she had.
“Time will heal, or it can’t heal all wounds, but with me being with the other ladies,” Lyles said let her know she was not alone in what she had and was experiencing.
Centered on community, not meetings
When Watson first started cultivating the group, she was just trying to meet the needs of widows she knew personally.
They would talk, “not so much about coming to the group, but more about how are they doing, what they need. I would just advise them, you know. I’m here for you 24 hours.”
After losing someone so integral to their lives, Lyles and Watson both said there are things their husbands did they didn’t know about or didn’t know how to do.

“He took care of everything. I didn’t have to pay no bills or anything, but I think one of the avenues that a widow goes into after losing her spouse is maybe you don’t know how to write a check out or how to take care of your finances,” Lyles said. Soon for Lyles she got behind on insurance payments, and asked for understanding.
“There was two of us, but now it’s one,” she said.
More recently, Watson said there was a younger widow, in her 30s, who lost her husband without life insurance, and that W.E.S. & I raised funds to help with the funeral.
“Sometimes you can struggle and be okay, but I see a struggle…some of the ladies that’s not okay yet, you know, and it has been a day-by-day journey,” Lyles said.
The day-by-day journey is what W.E.S. & I is there for, regardless of whether members show up on an official meeting day.
W.E.S. & I is open to all widows. To learn more about the organization, visit widowsempowered.org.

































