Forty-three years ago, when I was 9, I was abducted and raped by a man claiming to be a police officer. Although my perpetrator threatened to harm me if I ever told anyone, he decided to release me and spare my life. Still, I was terrified enough by his threat that I told no one what happened for 21 years. In this way, I felt very much a captive and I continue to recover from my harrowing ordeal.
A bit more than 43 days after Gina DeJesus, a victim in the recent Cleveland kidnapping case, was freed, I decided to visit her family as a fellow Puerto Rican female and as a member of the Rape, Abuse & Incest National Network’s (RAINN) speakers’ bureau. I’d talked myself out of making the trip twice before out of fear. But, ultimately, I realized that because my captor let me live, I should be offering support to fellow victims whenever possible.
The fact that I share the same culture with Gina made me hopeful that her family would be willing to speak to me. Fortunately they were, and so there I found myself in Gina’s home for almost an hour with her mother, Nancy, her father Felix and her brother Ricardo. They told me Gina wasn’t home, but I’ll never know if she was listening from her room upstairs, still too afraid to speak about what she’s been through.
I told them that I’d made the two-hour trip because I wanted them to know my story of trauma and recovery so they could best help their daughter with her healing. I described how terrifying my abduction and rape were and told them to ask me anything they wanted to know about what Gina was going through. When her mother explained that Gina was seeing a psychiatrist once a month, I politely let her know that I believed her daughter needed much more counseling than that, based on my personal experience.
I also told her about my soon-to-be published book about my rape, “NEWYORICANGIRL … Surviving my Spanglish Life,” because I go into gritty detail about the day I was raped and my painful journey ever since. I told Nancy I wrote it so that other victims and their families could use my book as a resource while navigating their own similar crises.
I went on to highlight that my related post-traumatic stress disorder symptoms and diagnosis waited more than 30 years to present, so that they should be prepared for Gina’s lifelong journey of recovery. I also asked them how they were dealing with the ordeal. While it was clear to me that they are struggling, Gina’s mother reiterated over and over again that the only thing they could do was to continue taking life one day at a time. She also stressed she was grateful for her neighbors and how they are surrounding the DeJesus family with a tightly woven blanket of support, protection and comfort.
Ariel Castro, Gina’s alleged perpetrator, was in court the day I visited them. Gina’s parents said they hoped their former family friend would plead guilty to all charges so that their daughter’s recovery could be easier. When I asked them what they would do if Gina’s case ended up going to trial, they told me they planned on being in the courtroom every single day.
Unfortunately for Gina, her fellow victims and her family, the Cleveland kidnapper monster who abducted three innocent young women and held them against their will for more than nine years pleaded “not guilty” in the case. His trial begins Aug. 5 and this makes me even more empathetically concerned for Gina, Michelle Knight, Amanda Berry and for their families who are victims, too.
Contact the National Sexual Assault Hotline at 1-(800)-656-4673 (sponsored by RAINN).
