The moral of this story: ‘Get your cancer screenings.’
By Cheryl Hardy-Dillin
I believe in the magic of Christmas – maybe even a miracle.
Let me tell you a story of about my bestie, Cathie … and we have quite the life story to tell. Epic, actually.
Last year, Cathie was diagnosed with Stage IV metastatic cancer. With strength and grace, she and her family have fought through multiple rounds of tortuous chemotherapy and radiation, and battled with the emotional and physical toll that this wicked disease takes.
But Cat was a strong advocate for herself in the toughest and most Cathie-way ever. She never allowed the doctors to be good enough; it was always a challenge to them – what else can be done?
Because of her persistence, mental toughness and demanding the best for her own health, Cathie was referred to a revolutionary program at the Cleveland Clinic that allows patients with her EXACT cancer circumstances to get a liver transplant. This procedure is expected to cure her of cancer.
In January, Cathie is set for final testing and scheduling of her liver transplant – a procedure in which a donor match gives her a lobe of their liver. The liver is regenerative, so the lobe will grow into a full and healthy liver.
I am Cathie’s live liver donor match.
The tale of how we met
I have been friends with Cathie for more than half of my life; it’s hard to remember life without Catherine, Cathie, Cat, Chickie …. Catherine and I met at a Toledo Home Remodelers Association meeting almost 30 years ago. I had just started my agency and was trying to build relationships and get business. On this night, the THRA had Miss Ohio in attendance and the room was packed. However, other than Miss Ohio and me, there were maybe one or two women.
After the painful meeting and listening to Miss Ohio sing, I grabbed a bar seat at the usual after-meeting watering hole in hopes of finally doing some real networking. On the other end of the bar was a confident and bodacious young woman who was also recalling the pretty unsatisfying meeting. We made eye contact and did that woman thing, where you say 1,000 words with your eyes, and even though you don’t know each other … you understand. And that was it: We were best friends.
Cat is the one who gave me a style look because she didn’t think my overalls were as cute as I did. So, if you like my style, thank Cathie. It’s her fault I wear anything other than Garanimals.
Cat is the one who fixed me fresh strawberry daiquiris with a powdered sugar rim because I ‘didn’t really drink much and didn’t like beer, wine or booze.’ I am now a wine, gin and tequila girl – all compliments of Cathie’s influence.
I have only one superpower in life and that is my ability to believe in other people and convince them, through my belief, to believe in themselves. I learned that from Cathie, too. It’s what she’s done for me over and over and over again.
I remember a young Cathie and her love Wayne bouncing over a hill and proudly announcing their engagement, which led to marriage, and what a wedding it was. I was the maid of honor and made sure my toast would be remembered.
I frequently tell the story of Cathie’s 80/25 percent rule, a rule that made absolutely no sense until she proclaimed, martini in hand, that any man not giving more than 100 percent wasn’t worth even a look from me.
Then there was the time she strode into my office with the air and confidence of a famous actress, threw a piece of paper on my desk and announced, “You’re going to win this national marketing competition for us, and we’re going to have THE BEST time.” I did, and off we went to Italy on an all-expenses paid trip.
And we did have THE BEST time. We danced on the Spanish steps; drank from the Trevi Fountain (Limoncello induced, of course); got cool Italian sunglasses; visited the Colosseum and the Statue of David; took a gondola ride; drank a Bellini right where Hemingway sat; and got the giggles so bad in Venice that our neighbor pounded on the wall for us to be quiet (didn’t work).
I remember when she told me she was pregnant for the first time … and the second. When she and Wayne bought their first house and then built their dream house. I also cherish that they helped me buy my first home.
But the story I remember most was just a couple months ago.
The day everything changed
I was pulling into a parking lot, running late, when Cat called me. I answered, “Hey, I’m walking into the FBI. Can I call you later?” Cat paused but chuckled, “Of course you are. Talk to you later.”
The evening was amazing. I had great conversations with the special agent in charge (SAC) and the assistant special agent in charge. The SAC coined me – a real wow moment that I tried to act cool about, but I really wanted to jump up on the table and show everyone my cool Special Agent in Charge coin.
On my way home, I hit cruise control and happily dialed up Chickie. I loved Chickie talks!
“What’s up, Cat?!” I smiled.
In true Cat fashion , she said, “Tell me all about your FBI night, Chicky.” (She’s Chickie and I’m Chicky. Aunt Chicky to everyone in her family, actually.)
I proudly told her about my SAC coin and how much it meant to me, thankful that my bestie was the first to hear my special news.
She then offered mildly, “Remember how you jumped out of an airplane with me when I turned 30?”
Yeeeeeeesssssss. In my head I had absolutely no idea where this was going.
“Remember how you ran a half marathon with me when I turned 40?”
Um, yesssssss. She only gave me like two weeks to prepare. It rained and was miserable. What torture was she preparing me for?
“Well, I picked something a little harder for my 50th.”
“You did!?” (We cannot print what was going through my mind.)
“Yep, this year I’m going to fight cancer.”
That was not it. That was NOT what was going through my mind. That was NOT what I wanted to hear. I wanted to hang up, call back and find out I was punked or that this voice that sounded like my best friend was a deep fake. Please, anything but what I had just heard.
People tell me all the time something I already know, that my relationship with Cathie is special; the once-in-a-lifetime kind of friend that most people only wish to have. She’s my person. My ride or die. My rock. My home base.
And with one sentence, I felt the earthquake of that special relationship rock my world. I still feel the aftershocks today.
I share this story to encourage you to make the appointments for your cancer screenings. Get your mammograms. Schedule those colonoscopies. Why? Because the worst part of this story is that if Cat had had a colonoscopy based on her family history and age, they very likely would have caught it in a preventable or treatable stage.
Today, she is fighting stage IV colon cancer that has metastasized to her liver, and next month we hope to save her with a liver .
The moral of this story is to get your screenings. Do it for your wife or your husband. Do it for your sons and daughters. Do it for your mom and dad. Do it for your best friend who will cry the most painful tears possible if you don’t.
The ultimate gift of friendship and love
And these are just some of the reason why being the donor is so special.
If this isn’t the exclamation mark on an already exceptional friendship, I don’t know what is. It has been such an honor to have a friend like Cat – and for our entire friendship, I’ve counted my lucky stars to have her in my life, always my North Star.
Now we get to do something absolutely remarkable together – because our friendship wasn’t big enough already – Let’s go cure cancer Cat – because we can, because that’s the power of us!
BELIEVE in a Christmas miracle
Believe in miracles. Believe in hope. Believe in magic. Life is so much brighter when you believe what could be…
‘Tis the season. This year makes it so clear that the magic of Christmas isn’t wrapped beneath a tree, but wrapped up in our hearts, between the friends we consider family and the family we consider friends.
Enjoy the spirit of Christmas – it is strong in this house, and I wish you all the happiness your heart can hold and all the love and hugs your family and friends will tolerate!
Pray for a miracle for Cat, because what’s happening next is nothing short of absolutely incredible – magic in its purest form – a Christmas miracle.
The Toledo Free Press will keep you updated on this heartwarming and hopeful story of Cheryl and Cathie.
